For me it wasn’t something I especially considered some years ago, or had thought of being involved at all in Dominance and submission. I’m quietly spoken usually though not shy about giving my view when asked. I seldom get visibly excited about anything, it isn’t me being a grumpy old fart, I just don’t do it.
Though I can get passionate over things such as injustice, inconsideration and those close to me. The one who is closest to me is my girl captive eyes. she will tell you that she wasn’t looking when I found her, that she was and is an independent woman who doesn’t suffer fools gladly and from my experience can express a dozen different emotions simply by using her eyes!
I remember the very first time I saw her and knew I wanted her, or at least wanted to know more about her. It was some time later before we got together that I looked across at her, locked her eyes and felt the words ‘I love you’ come up from my throat but stopped at my mouth. she said later I had the look of a deer in the headlights but obviously didn’t know why at the time.
What followed was almost like two teenagers again, and I gradually started to unwrap the skins of this seemingly quiet unassuming and almost melancholy lady. I was struck by her beauty, she has the most mesmerising eyes; Eyes that can bore straight through, and she says mine do the same to her. I was hooked. she may not have known it and she certainly wasn’t looking for or expecting anyone in her life but I was caught. I instinctively knew (and I cannot explain it to myself) when she stroked her hair when talking on the phone to me, I knew this and more to the extent she thought I had somehow managed to rig up cameras to watch her. To me it was the connection of minds and she felt the same way though I didn’t know it at the time.
I won’t go into her past, suffice to say she hadn’t before had the luxury of exploring her own sensuality and needs because it wasn’t considered by others to be of any importance. I don’t mean in a Master/slave way either; I mean in a testosterone beats oestrogen way.
But I recognised this sophisticated woman was deep and started with tentatively ‘going there’ with D/s terms, actions and ideas…and though it shouldn’t have taken me by surprise, I was pleasantly surprised at her response, she transformed into the butterfly on her avatar. I call her schmetterling, which as you may know is the German for the winged creature. Her wings were open and she wanted so desperately to fly, and I was only too happy to make sure she did.
My dominance of her is often subtle, just as she can communicate with her eyes many fold more than I am able, I can simply raise an eyebrow or unfold my fingers in a certain way and she knows exactly what I’m saying. I know as she will be reading this she will be smiling and her pulse increasing rapidly because she knows exactly what I mean and running it through her mind. If she goes into ‘bratty’ mode she will give a theatrical pout; I remove my glasses and stare at her for a few seconds and she’ll giggle. Mentioning that she will have a good thrashing is met with ‘oh yes please Sir’ and another giggle. On more serious matters she tells me that she has never asked anyone before about decisions she could or should make, but now she seldom does without asking me first.
For me it’s incredible responsibility to own her (she loves to keep telling me I do) and guide her in matters.I simply adore her, heart body and soul. We’re exploring things together; we had a little discussion about ‘outsiders’ perceptions yesterday which I’m hoping she’ll open a thread about in the future, I know the above maybe a bit rambling, but from my perspective ‘tell me about dominance’ is so much more than the sum of it’s parts. It’s dependent on the submissive wanting and needing/craving that oversight and care, without that gift, a dominant isn’t, they’re just another person.
I hope that helps.