Review, Reflection and Resolutions

Review, Reflection and Resolutions

Thank You

What with all the festive fun, we are a little bit later than intended in wishing you all a very happy new year. With that obviously comes the hope of a really good 2019 to one and all and also a good opportunity for review and reflection. It has been busy for us personally this year, but also on the site. We owe so much to those who have supported us from the beginning in helping us to run the site by hosting chats, adding to the forums and writing for the site. Beth, Littlelove and Princess have continued to host the little chats and remain active members and moderators so a huge thanks to them.

Thanks also to Mister Man who has continued to support us with some of the IT issues and also by writing for the blog and acting as a moderator, and to The Good Sir who spent a lot (more than I could count) of (probably very frustrating) hours helping us with general IT and the design and functionality of the site. Although as ‘backdoor work’ this can’t always be seen, it has been a huge help to HL and to I to know that there are people we can call on to help when things seem to mysteriously change and no-one can tell you why. This is something that is ongoing and we hope to make some changes to the design of the site so that it is easier to use, especially for new members or those visiting.

It is always great to be able to get to know new members and we are so appreciative to those who attend the chats and post on the forums. Our vision was always that this was your site so to find people who want to be involved with helping to host chats, write for the blog and moderate the chat is brilliant. This year we have welcomed Sweetgirl, Purple Sole, Little Gem and Kisungura to the team and have enjoyed posts from Emma, MrH and Mr Ham. Thank you to all of you for helping to ease our load and for providing more voices than just our own.


We decided to change the way we organised the chats the last few months and have used a theme for topics which has been shared on a weekly newsletter. Hopefully this has been a helpful addition but, as always, any feedback would be welcome. When I look back on the calendar at the range of topics I am always amazed how much we have been able to cover. We have been able to host not only the topic chats on a Tuesday but have also been running the discussions on a Thursday as well as the open chat on a Sunday. For much of the year we were joined by winnie and Lars who took over hosting the topic chats at US time so hopefully that is something that can be re-established at some point in the future.

The site has continued to grow in terms of visitors, and views to the blog and forums, and so although not everyone is able to attend a chat it is great to see that the site is being used as a resource. The most viewed forums were Dominantion and Submission, Play, Scenes and Training and Bondage and Discipline which is probably no surprise. The most viewed post by quite a lot was Like to Build you Own Fucking Machine followed by 9 Positions of Submission, Bottoms up to Anal Sex and A new Dom’s tale: To infinity and beyond. We would encourage anyone who would like to write something for the blog to do so as it is really great to be able to share from a wide range of experience and opinion.


So what’s to come for 2019?

In terms of the site, I think it will be about responding to feedback from members (there is a Suggestion Box forum for this) and looking at a redesign of the way the site works for us. We have also had some ideas about recognising the contribution that many of you make to the community and have been thinking about ways to use all of the writing talent that is out there. It would be great to be able to involve some of those who are using the site but don’t access the chat, so watch this space.

In terms of our D/s that is always a work in progress and being part of this community has played a key role. We have a list of kinky stuff that we would like to try based on the things that others have shared in chat. We are also attending Eroticon again this year, joined by Purple Sole and littlegem, so hopefully we will leave there with some new ideas about how to develop in terms of the writing that we are doing. Relationship-wise, I think the focus will be on going deeper by stepping up the level of power that is exchanged. This is something that we have been working on but I think we have some clearer ideas of where that will go (more details about this will follow on our personal blogs).


Member Reflections

We have tried to include some more collaborative posts on the blog recently and so if anyone wishes to be part of that then please just let us know through chat, email or private message. The theme for this week was Reflections and Resolutions and PS and gem were, not only much more organised than us, but also kind enough to share their own thoughts to be included as part of this post.

As we are fairly new to D/s, so much has changed from the beginning of the year in a relatively small amount of time so we have a lot to reflect on. At the start of our D/s dynamic we were really just having a blind stab at it, or I felt like I was at least. PurpleSole had done a bit of research and read quite a lot of blogs which lead us to here.

I think missy, HisLordship and the SWC in general has had the biggest impact on us and the journey our D/s is taking. Without them we definitely would not be where we are now and enjoying the types of play we do either. A massive thank you to you both, that can’t be expressed enough. The one massive gain from this year is you, the friendships we have gained and the knowledge from the SWC chats are invaluable to us. Thank you to you all.

My D/s resolution for the new year has got to be to listen more. Listen before I react and with listening I hope a deeper submission with a higher control from PS will follow. I can be quick to start to argue back before things have been fully explained, this is undermining the Dominance of PS. Also I am guilty of not fully listen to what PS is asking from me, so hopefully this resolution will remind me of what is important and keep me on the right track.

Wishing you all a happy kinky New Year everyone!

We are only 8 months into our D/s journey so when I reflect on the year I start from a point where we weren’t in a D/s dynamic. We were close, we always have been, but opening up sexually has strengthen our bond. It has also allowed us to open up more about our lives and who we are. We have laughed, cried and had many wonderful experiences and we intend to make 2019 even better.

One thing gained: The ability to open up about anything, to be free of dark inner thoughts.

When I think about what direction I want our dynamic to go I want to continue to enhance myself. Who I am, as a Dom, has a great impact on how we act towards each other. I must learn to push my own boundaries more, to always think about how I can improve. That way I can give littlegem the headspace and enjoyment she deserves.

One thing for the future: Be more assertive, especially in situations where gem needs my help.

4 thoughts on “Review, Reflection and Resolutions

  1. We all make New Year’s Resolutions, and we all know how seldom they work.
    So this year I propose we make resolutions for other people in our lives.
    Just think how friends, co-workers, your boss at work, the relatives (not your kids; they’re hopeless) and that Special Someone will react with appreciation when you hand them a New Year’s Resolution Greeting Card with a heart-felt message like:

    The possibilities are endless, and—who knows?—It could change your life, too!
    (Presented as a Public Service, but I will accept Donations.)

    1. Oh yikes. How funny. I can see that going down like a lead balloon. *Suddenly Crayle wonders where all his friends went*. I wonder what you will hand out to me. Would
      be an interesting project. ?

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