Respect

It takes a lot for me to respect you.  In someways, I almost have to feel you, like making a lasting impression that I can dip into for inspiration or direction.  There are only a few people that have done that to me, which in someways sounds derogatory to those people I really like, although it shouldn’t be as they aren’t mutually exclusive.

In our D/s relationship I have a massive amount of respect for missy.  I think it stems from the fact that when she achieves something that is important to her, or something I cannot do, I have a emotional response, which in turn produces admiration and greater respect.   Our partnership is also based on respect for one another’s opinions and feelings; being respectful is far more than being polite, I have been polite to people I would happily throw out of a window just to keep the peace in the past!

If I compare my feelings towards missy in comparison to other people I have had respect for, I guess there was some diluted affection for them.  People that inspired me, took an interest in my future and required nothing in return all made an emotional dent.  Based on that statement I suppose a person’s actions must have to press a button in my head that makes me want to be associated to them.

Newton was quoted in saying, ‘For every actionthere is an equal and opposite reaction.’ Now this is great in physics but a lousy example for emotional interactions, especially in gaining respect.  If you were to walk down a street (being two metres apart during the COVID-19 outbreak) and smiled at a stranger, there is a good chance they will smile back, and not scowl. So sometimes for every action, there is an equal and ‘equal’ reaction.  Respect if born of positive behaviours that are mirrored. You see a behaviour you like, you mirror it, you have mutual understanding and respect for one another. In D/s that is how respect is maintained, positive behaviours that are mirrored. Not grand gestures, just simple positive behaviours that the other person buys into.

For us, we have been in relationships where partner’s behaviours were not the sort you wanted to mirror, and therefore had an understanding of ourselves. We were lucky in that we knew how to, and how not to behave, to form a close relationship.  It takes work and sometimes you get it wrong, but that’s life and nothing comes without investment and sometimes making allowances for someone you know really respects you.

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Posted in Building a D/s Dynamic, Tell Me About and tagged , .

3 Comments

  1. Thank you HL for writing this for Tell Me About. I do think polite behaviour doesn’t necessarily mean that you respect someone, I’ve spent years being polite to people I have no respect for at all. I think that respect like love can grow and is made up of smaller actions that culminate into a bigger thing… does that make sense?

    Stay safe HL

    Sweetgirl x

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