When i think about vanilla life, just having general relationships outside of kink, i think about how important it is to laugh. i mean, if it isn’t fun, or at least minimally enjoyable, why engage? This leads me to the topic of nonsexual play. i am going to write about it specifically for romantic relationships, but this could really apply to any friendship.
When Daddy and i met, we were 800 miles apart. We didn’t have the luxury of dating, we had time differences, and between the two of us, we had 5 jobs. i also had a 2 year old. Those things made for a rough start. i was newly out of a seriously bad relationship, and wasn’t really looking for love in any form. So when Daddy and i connected, it was more about laughing and relaxing than it was anything else. Talking to Him felt good. We started out playing the games 14 year old girls play at slumber parties- 20 questions and truth or dare. We spent so much time asking questions, that eventually we ran out, and had to find other resources to give us more ideas. We spent hours talking, falling asleep on the phone. And this was back when people had minutes. His phone bills were a bit much, but we just couldn’t help ourselves. We talked and talked and played our games, and suddenly He was at my door with His entire life packed in boxes, and He moved in.
Somewhere in that journey things became sexual. But we had based our relationship on more than that, and so it wasn’t the main priority. We made some friends that were couples and began hosting game nights. We played games just He and i. We changed and evolved, but kept having fun. It doesn’t always have to be tits and cocks and lubes and cuffs. Some nights we are on the Xbox cursing into our microphones. Some nights we are playing cards, sipping scotch and smoking cigars (a little who smokes cigars, how scandalous!). Some nights we lay in bed, and He watches me color, or play with my toys. One time we even tried to make our own wedding cake, which was a disaster. But all of it has been fun. And the laughter has been the best part.
Playing is more important in my relationships than almost anything else. i crave laughter, feel fulfilled when Daddy thinks i am clever or funny, i like being lively and silly and playful. i love when Daddy breaks out his face splitting grin at me. It really has nothing to do with age play or D/s. It’s more about remembering to not become complacent, to change things up, to keep surprising each other.
Examples of non sexual play:
- Board games
- Card games
- Video games
- Tickle fights
- Pillow fights
- Playing with toys
- Taking a shower or bath together
- Cooking together
- Telling jokes
- Reading together
- Movie night
Have you had enough non sexual play in your life lately? What do you do to play in non sexual ways? Comment below!!