Forum Replies Created
- 19/06/2020 at 7:04 am #12209
- 19/06/2020 at 7:03 am #12208
Well I’ve listened to it a few times to make sure its sunk in, and I’ve really enjoyed it. I haven’t read any of her other books, I can’t wait for the chat next week!
I will say I recommended it to my mum because I enjoyed it so much.
- 15/05/2020 at 6:41 am #11642
I did the same thing with my husband nearly 3 years ago. My husband wrote about how he found it in a post on here https://thesafewordsclub.com/new-doms-tale-infinity-beyond/ and you husband may find that useful.
We found this website, especially the chats which are twice a week, Tuesdays and sundays at 8pm gmt a great source as well as Fetlife.com on Fetlife you might be able to find a munch near you, and they are also useful. A munch is like going to a coffee shop or pub with some friends there is no play just chatting.
My own journey is documented on my website https://asubmissivewife.com/
Submissys and HisLordships websites both contain valuable information and another useful website I would reccomend is https://Purplesgem.com
Do come to the chats, both of you if your husband’s willing, that way you can get real time information
Sweet Autumn Rose
- 06/05/2020 at 1:10 pm #10554
Lots of information there! Welcome to SWC.
One way to compartmentalise your play would be to have a specific signal or item to show the dynamic is in place. Perhaps a collar she could put on you and remove at the end of the play session.
As for the fantasies, you should share them. I worried about telling MrH what I fantasised about, thinking it was topping from the bottom, but MrH told me that I needed to tell him so he knew what I was thinking, but I also needed to be aware that telling me did not mean that he would being the fantasies to life, because ultimately it is up to him how we play.
Anyway I hope this helps you and I’m sure that others will offer advice too. The next chat is on Sunday at 8PM GMT if you want to talk to people in real time.
- 16/04/2020 at 8:05 am #9123
What you’re describing sounds like what we sometimes refer to as sub frenzy. The intense highs from play scenes become as you say addictive. During the early months many of us feel this, and it does pass. I imagine the lockdown has made this quite difficult too.
- 05/04/2020 at 9:57 am #7903
There are a few blogs I would recommend you read if you are interested in learning more. Firstly there is submissy’s site, she is the hostess of the SafeworD/s Club and you will learn a lot from there. Fetlife is another site with a plethora of information. And, my own blog tells you about how I became a submissive wife.
I have mental health challenges too although depending on what they are you may want to go to DeviantSuccubus’ site as she has many issues that she deals with and maintains a submissive lifestyle too.
I would caution you about thinking that there is a set of prerequisites in order to be a submissive. Anyone who tells you they can ‘train you’ or that you are ‘not a real submissive’ is not good for you. There are a lot of wannabe doms out there who are just dickheads plain and simple, and unfortunately some that are extremely abusive. So do be careful how much you share.
You say your current partner isn’t dominant material. Don’t get hung up on what you imagine to be a dominant. Anyone who met my husband would not think the is a dominant either, but within our dynamic, once I let him take charge, he did.
Take things slowly, and start by talking.
I showed MrH a scene from 50 shades and said I thought I would like it if he did that to me. That night in bed he put my arms out to the sides, spread my legs (i looked like a starfish) and told me not to move. That is where it began. No rope, nothing tied, just two people willing to try something different.
Anyway, there are two chats a week here Sundays and Tuesdays at 8pm GMT. There are always a few people online for these chats and you will be able to ask questions and so on.
Take care of yourself, and I hope this information is helpful and I see you at one of the chats. I can also be found on twitter if you want to chat.
- 03/04/2020 at 2:16 pm #7895
I will try and think if I know someone with that dynamic. I know someone in real life, well they are a couple who both have submissive partners. They do not do kink together but she has a slave she plays with and loves and he has a play partner who he loves. But they don’t have a blog or Twitter presence for you to connect with.
Do try to make one of the chats I’m sure someone will be able to offer advice.
Take care, and I hope to catch up with you at one of the chats
- 03/04/2020 at 10:41 am #7893
Ok so, let me see if I’m understanding. You have and are in a long term vanilla relationship, and also have just started a D/s relationship with someone else?
- 03/04/2020 at 8:33 am #7891
First of all welcome! Both myself and Submissy have blogs where you can read our experiences of how we felt as our dynamics grew.
It sounds like you got swept up in the frenzy which is quite normal.
My husband and Dominant Dominant wrote a piece about his first 6 months and this might also give you some insight.
There are also chats twice a week. The next one is Sunday, 8PM GMT (also on Tuesday at the same time). There are people online that can give you more insight and they are also lots of fun!
- 18/11/2019 at 7:21 am #7410
I’m afraid I can’t help you here, MrH and I have never done a formal collaring. I think it depends on your dynamic and what you know of your Dom. If you think he would appreciate a gift I don’t see the harm. As for how again, depends on your dynamic. You Could ask them for advice, how they would like to be presented with a gift.
- 12/11/2019 at 6:51 am #7388
Great see you later!
- 11/11/2019 at 9:03 pm #7386
I am glad you have talked about this. The life360 app is pretty great.
Give it a try.
Hopefully we will see you at the chat? There is one tomorrow at 8pm GMT
- 11/11/2019 at 7:42 pm #7384
Hello, there is an app that MrH and I use, called Life360 it is available on android and apple.
MrH and I know where we will be during the day (work/shop/home) and when we arrive at work we message to say “arrived safe” we check in throughout the day. I sometimes let him know when I leave work but I always let him know when I arrive back home.
Because we ride motorbikes we got this so if one of us didn’t arrive when expected the other person could locate them.
A bigger issue from reading your post is that he seem to not trust you. A phone tracker has its place but (and again this is just my opinion) if you are in a relationship (and not just a D/s one) trust is extremely important. He may just be concerned for your safety and I understand that but a few things to remember, tracker apps use your location and it will affect your battery life. This should be activated both ways so you see where each other are.
- 06/10/2019 at 8:27 pm #7294
- 08/02/2019 at 6:32 pm #6585
Hello Ali, I’m so sorry you find yourself in this situation and can hear the frustration in your words.
I’m very plain spoken and it is not my intent to upset you but you have reached out and this is what I would tell any girlfriend of mine who said what you have just said.
I am pretty new to D/s having only introduced it 18 months ago but MrH and I have been together for 23 years in all.
It seems to me that you need to sit him down and say “you may be the dominant in our relationship but that relationship exists to feed both our needs and as it stands mine are not being met.”
my experinces so far have been that the Dominant should be looking out for the well-being of the submissive and that if the submissive says I am not feeling like you appreciate me then they would discuss how this can be remedied.
I would urge you to remember that submissive or not, if you are not happy you have the right to have a discussion with him and he should treat that discussion and your views with respect.
Having said all that, you say your marriage is not over, you love him etc, and you ask if you should resign yourself to being unhappy with a poor sex life? I’m afraid my response is this – if you can not fix this, if he does not want to see you happy and fulfilled, then your marriage is over as it is one sided.
A marriage like D/s is a partnership and without 2 players you’re already alone.
Be strong, stand your ground and remember your needs are important too.