Beth [MM]

  • HisLordship and Profile picture of lil glil g are now friends 5 days ago

  • Hello Trouble,

    Thank you for your forum post.  Firstly, please let me assure you this is quite common, and more than a lot of people will admit.

    D/s relationships within a long term relationship are different from those that are based mainly around play and sex.  We have to manage life on a rolling basis, like your husband’s knee and your dog, w…[Read more]

  • The first thing I want to say is that you don’t need a D/s contract. This site is not somewhere that we tout the one true way of D/s relationships so whenever I write an instructional piece I always shudder at […]

  • HisLordship and Profile picture of slaveJayslaveJay are now friends 2 weeks ago

  • Missy and Profile picture of lil glil g are now friends 2 weeks, 2 days ago

  • This link to another site may help you. It’s not a contract, however, it contains elements you could add.

  • Hi Rosiefox.  Well that is an interesting question because as you say, a lot of D/s relationships are sexual.  My short answer is yes, a D/s relationship can be non-sexual for the simple reason that a couple’s relationship is their own.  A Dominance and submissive dynamic is very much about a power exchange, and no one says sex has to be in…[Read more]

  • Missy and Profile picture of NickNick are now friends 3 weeks, 2 days ago

  • Missy wrote a new post, Intimacy 1 month ago

    What is Intimacy?

    Intimacy is a feeling of knowing another person deeply and feeling deeply known by them. It is created over time and comes from a deep connection on a number of levels. There are different […]

  • Missy and Profile picture of LienLien are now friends 2 months ago

  • In relationships, knowing your partner’s limits and boundaries is essential. If you don’t know what they are then you can’t observe them. Neither can you push them. In a D/s relationship this is even more […]

    • Thank you Missy,

      Our play last night failed because my Dom had reached her limit but got upset and walked out rather than using her safe word. I Also allowed her to keep going with the play even though i suspected she was getting tired. (My body was not responding as she expected it to)

      Our conversation afterwards was very much a discussion around better communication including both of us checking in when we suspected it was not going well.

      Your article reinforced to us what we did in aftercare was correct.

      • Hi. Thank you so much for commenting and I am glad that the post was helpful. I think there is often a lot written about a sub and their limits but less so about a Dom’s. From our experience it hit HL really hard when he had planned well and then my body didn’t respond as it might have. We learnt that this was often to do with my mind and the way I was thinking, and knowing that he had to engage my mind first helped a bit. These days he will stop and take a pause to talk. He is then able to change direction to something which he thinks will work better having listened to me, but it has taken time and confidence for him to get to this point. I think there is less said about the emotions for a Dom afterwards. Now only do they have to have that intense focus during a scene which takes a lot of effort but they are often also doing things which feel counter-intuitive (like inflicting pain on someone they love) so the psychological side can be a big thing to overcome too. I am glad that you were able to talk and sort things out. We try to see the times it doesn’t go according to plan as opportunities to learn more about each other and out changing needs. It is hard when it happens but I think it is usual and although we have been at this a while, it still happens to us too. missy 😊

    • This is such a great resource and will be useful to so many! I wish I’d found this what feels like a million years ago!
      Very good explanation of how limits and boundaries work ☺☺

      • Thank you Mrs K. The idea on the blog here is to build a resource like this for people starting out so I am glad that you think it would have helped. And if you ever have any topics which you feel you would be willing to write about, we would love to have your insight and tips 😊

    • Thank you Jordi. I understand what you mean about there not being things that you wouldn’t do but most people have things that they are less comfortable about and might need more support around. Talking can also mean that things are easier for your partner as they are confident that you are ok with something. I know that in some M/s relationships limits tend not to be there in an overt way the same, but usually they have been previously discussed. It sounds like you have a lot of trust with your partner and the right sort of balance for you which is great 😊

  • Missy and Profile picture of bbMebbMe are now friends 2 months, 1 week ago

  • Hi Alister,

    I think what you currently have is what a lot of couples continually seek.  Mental and emotional connections far outweigh the physical which are limited to how long the bruises or bite marks last!

    Being only able to meet once a week does have the advantage of mental anticipation which certainly adds a lot to a relationship in that…[Read more]

  • Hello – lovely to meet you Jacquisub,

    I think that lots of us feel that way to begin with. It sounds like you might be experiencing a bit of subfrenzy. You might find this post Patience and sub-frenzy is helpful and if not then try searching. It will likely take your partner longer to catch up to the point you are at and that adjustment time can…[Read more]

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