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You’ve come to the right place. Most on this site are married or long-term D/s couples that started vanilla. We would love to see you in chat.

My suggestion would be to talk with him about this. Find out if he minds you calling him out, if he does maybe the two of you could figure out a signal to let you know you are doing it and he needs you to back off. Also talk about ways for you to be subtly submissive around your kids and community.

I have more common sense and I’m less i…[Read more]

There is also a Resources subforum here on SWC, with books, websites, blogs, videos, etc.

Submissive training is rather personal, and should (in my opinion) take into consideration the needs and wants of both the Dom and sub. What works for one relationship might not be good for another. I’ve not done nor been asked to do much formal submissive training. Real Service by Joshua Tenpenny might give you some help in figuring out how you t…[Read more]

MM often tells me how much he appreciates me. He shows it in the little caresses he gives me throughout the day. He spoils me often, at least I think so.

Anything can go in your relationship if all parties are agreeable to it. I don’t think it’s topping from the bottom unless it annoys the Dom. You could always talk to him about your desires. He’…[Read more]

We are not a hook-up site so you will need to look elsewhere for someone to discipline you. However, if you’d like to talk about domestic discipline or ask any questions we would be happy to discuss it with you.

Opening doors – either she has to wait while you open them for her or she has to open them for you. My Sir buckles/unbuckles my seatbelt when he’s driving. Pick a side that she should walk on when walking with you and do you want her to be even with you, maybe on you arm, or slightly behind you. Pick a stealthy way to always address you instead o…[Read more]

I second what DW4Sir said. Communication is the key to every good relationship. My husband was uncomfortable at first because he was raised by a strong feminist and it seemed like D/s made me less than him. But we talked about it and he took the time to learn about it. I am just as valued as he is in our relationship, I choose to give him power…[Read more]

This has really helped me explain to MM my needs sexually as I’m a sensual/energetic with a bit of kinky and he is a sexual some kink.

The seminars are too expensive, at least for us, but I found the information in the emails helpful.

There is a subforum in the Resources forum, Toys & Equipment, for posting info and pics about toys. Feel free to browse and add your own recommendations and pics.

My husband needed and wanted guidance when we started out as he’s not a mind reader, lol. I agree with StHCE, turing it into a request or just letting him know “I like it when you do X,” will let him know what you enjoy without you “telling” him what to do. Then he can do what he wants with that information. We have found that feedback is crucia…[Read more]

I have panick attacks and even though I logically know I’m prefectly safe the feelings are still there. I don’t give into or feed the feelings but I don’t ignore them either. My therapist has been a great help getting me to this place.

You’re feelings are valid even if they seem irrational. Finding an open minded therapist might help. Some of…[Read more]

UberKinky – Beginner’s Guide To Wax Play

GoodReads – Toybag Guide to Hot Wax & Temp. Play

Peter Masters – Practical Wax Play