Ok, being 2 years and 4 months old… I have no advice to offer. But the question at the end got my attention. Can Doms groom their sub? The term groom in this context for me is somewhat predatory, as in an abuser grooms the victim. Within the tenants of SSC, I’d say no. Because to do so would be manipulative at best, and abusive at worst… and…[Read more]

I also found it to be mostly accurate. The only thing I felt it was off about was the masochistic rating. I think it was too high. I’m nowhere near a pain slut, beyond a little sting it’s not necessarily enjoyable for me…. however, I love the marks and those don’t come from an erotic spanking. I’m willing to suck it up to get the marks, and the…[Read more]

For some reason i didnt see this thread. Almost 6 months later, its probably to late to advise anything. However, communication is never wrong. And the right time and place is anytime and anywhere. Im curious about how this worked out for you, if you are comfortable sharing.

SSC. Partners need to follow that guide, bdsm or vanilla, makes no difference. Communication matters. As women generally we suck at it in regard to sex. And if someone does something you dont like, and you dont communicate that, when he does it to the next girl… you share responsibility for it. Sorry for the late response.  And of course this…[Read more]

Fantasies need to be shared with your partner. My Doms preference is that I write them down. So you might want to consider that option.

As for keeping things seperate… I’m sure it can be done but we (my Dom/Husband and myself) have not done that successfully. We run a family business together and in all parts of that we are equal. At home we…[Read more]

Ok. I am zero help to you. My experience in D/s is only with my husband, and we had been together for 15+ years before we decided to get into the lifestyle. Maybe some of the people who have been here longer will have some suggestions.

Google. Search BDSM munch with your state or city (if you don’t live in a small town). But remember privacy is valued, so if by chance you see someone you recognize make sure you dont share that info with anyone.

Communication is key. Know your own mind. Limits do not only apply to sex. If you are uncomfortable, consider renegotiating or terminating the relationship, depending on whats going on.

Consider looking into the BDSM community in your area. Even here in the deep south, the community is  active. Look for a munch or something to get started if you are interested. It seems like a better option to go into a situation with everyone knowing whats up… instead of trying to convert someone vanilla.

We haven’t really told anyone outright. Our families do not know. My family is very dramatic and would be trying to have him arrested for abuse. His family would tend to be more accepting, but his parents are nearly 70 years old and are not concerned with his sex life (thank God). Some of our friends are aware that we are not vanilla, in that they…[Read more]

That is so vague. Are you in a relationship and trying to incorporate D/s? Are you trying to learn as part of a career?  Do you want to be a club girl? What is your goal beyond “be submissive”?