Lockdown..still.

These are unprecedented times without doubt. If you are reading this in 2040 maybe the financial impact of Covid-19 may be over. The unfortunate thing is that the new generation of bloggers will be paying for it similar to those of the 1960s paying the debt of the Second World War. Either way, it will be history, very much like this post!

I made a statement in a business meeting the other day discussing staff welfare. I said everything at the moment was magnified. Small gestures of kindness are met with excitement and gratitude, whereas irritations and errors are often taken out of context and have a greater negative impact. Domestic life can be very much the same what with some folk having to work from home for the first time, and often with partners in the same situation. Throw in a few kids, a dog and a little time bomb is just waiting to go off.

Our D/s relationship of late has not been easy. We are still D/s and although I am finding it hard to concentrate on more than one thing at a time and switch off from work, we do still want this life. One of the issues is that we have always fed of each others vibe, which is great when you’re feeling positive, but not when life is throwing things at you.

So what advice would I give to you dear reader if I arrived at this post with the same issue? I would probably ask if you are making time for you and your partner to enjoy each others company by talking about projects to do together, issues in the family and how you’re generally currently both feeling. It’s always a good idea to get the basics sorted first! I would ask if you were taking time to make your sub feel special? Are you creating an atmosphere where some sexual tension is being grown in your day to day activities? Maybe I would offer an opinion that as you are in close proximity on a regular basis you could have a little timetable that fits around work and before the kids get up.

You may of course be stuck for ideas, or even a little apprehensive to stick your neck out as things just feel a bit odd. Again, my opinion would be to share your thoughts with your sub and explain what you want to happen and why; and by why, I meant why is it important to you as a Dom? There is a host of things you can ask your sub to do for you, and whilst they might internally raise their eyebrows or not be up for your games, explaining why and giving praise goes along way to secure immediate buy-in next time.

Obviously I’m only offering an opinion, and in doing so I should be sure that what I am saying has evidence behind it, at least to prove that it works. Well as it happens I do have evidence but it’s somewhat faded with time, and maybe I should take some of my own medicine rather than dispense it like a hole-in-the-wall pharmacist!

It’s been quite good chatting with you as I see some of the issues a lot clearer. Sometimes spreading a problem out on the floor like a large jigsaw puzzle gives you a better perspective.

Oh, if it is 2040 when you arrive here, yes we fucked up the environment too and I am very sorry no one listened.

tellmeabout
F4Thought
Posted in Living a D/s Lifestyle and tagged .

8 Comments

  1. HL, great post and its spot on advice for for this carzy time we are living through. I also feel better that there are others to who find it hard to take their own advice.

  2. Thanks for this great post HL. We are going through some major life changes and these compounded by the virus and some other things resulted in a really intense ‘double-drop’ (simultaneous subDrop and DomDrop). It was a rough place to be and we are both pretty beat up but got some important things that surfaced dealt with so in the end all is better. I hope you and Missy can ride the waves. As they say we are all in this together and that’s a unique situation which is a little freaky but comforting as well. hugs elskling

  3. Great advice here, and something I (we) definitely need to implement over here. Love that you are addressing the next generation too šŸ˜‰

    Rebel xox

  4. I read a very good psychology piece (OU) that said you should concentrate on doing one thing at a time and doing it well, but portion up your time carefully between all the things you have to accomplish, rather than trying to overlap tasks, and I guess maintaining a relationship under lockdown, when you lose the definition of when is work, when is family and when therefore can be play/affirmation is especially hard. I guess this is when self-reflection and communication are key…but reading through everyone’s experiences is a good opportunity for this. x thank you for sharing.

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