tell me about vulnerability - being vulnerable

Knowledge is Power

I am a private person. I wouldn’t like to be seen as vulnerable or on the flip side, as some sort of warrior princess hero thing. I like to blend in with a crowd, not one for attention (she says putting things into words for others to read haha).

I think it would be fair to say we can all find ourselves in situations that make us more vulnerable and how we deal with them can vary. In the past I have put on my ‘brave face’ in public so I can keep functioning then, when I feel it’s been safe to do so, either alone or with my husband, I let go, breathe, break down.

I have an amazing husband who has the knowledge and the power. He sees me at me strongest, weakest and everything in between. He is my safe place someone I can show my vulnerability to without fear of negative comeback. He’s my rock. Catching me when I fall, dusting me down, standing me back on my feet when I’m ready and giving me an encouraging nudge forward to carry on.

I never really thought about being vulnerable in our play. Somethings we just do, we enjoy it and don’t question or over think them. But now I thinking about being vulnerable in play it it’s obvious that I am. Being blindfolded and secured, spreadeagled, on the bed does put a person in a vulnerable position, and that’s just the start.

‘Vulnerable – exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed, either physically or emotionally.’

Yes Sir will do things that could be interpreted as fitting this brief. But what he does, is what I signed up for, so to speak. I suppose it didn’t hit my radar though as I thought of vulnerable in a sense of ‘not good’ whereas the vulnerable state I find myself in brings immense pleasure. It’s in a safe environment with someone that I trust completely. He knows my limits and how far he can push me so has carte blanche within them. I enjoy this vulnerability, not knowing what Sir is going to do or how far he will go. I believe it has a positive effect on me physically and mentally.

HL and Missy have created this safe space for like minded people, where all are welcome, but I still feel vulnerable posting like this. Like I say with knowledge comes power and giving people too much information makes me feel vulnerable. That said I’m enjoying the challenge of writing (even though I don’t like writing). Trying to put into words the spaghetti of thoughts in my head hasn’t been the chore I thought it would be.

 

Posted in Living a D/s Lifestyle and tagged , , , .

7 Comments

  1. I think your spaghetti head has worked out really well for this post! It is great you have the space and support to be yourself. Who says you have to be that person elsewhere? You live your life the way you want to. Thabk you for the kind words regarding the site. I’m pleased you feel safe.

  2. Thank you for sharing this lilly, it’s lovely to hear how deeply you are known and supported by your husband, I always describe C as my rock too and I’m the pebble lol xx

  3. Lilly, I’ve read a few of your entries and I’m starting to wonder if you’re me, lol. You really speak about things that I feel and think about frequently, and that brings me a lot of comfort.

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