This topic contains 1 reply, has 2 voices, and was last updated by  Beth [MM] 12 months ago.

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  • #3035


    During a recent conversation, my wife (my dom), said she needed help with “knowing what to do when she isn’t in the mood for a needy sub”. I was hoping you all might have some ideas or experience on how to cope when a needy subbie buzzing around isn’t exactly what the doctor ordered?

    This topic has come up before and I have suggested the following :

    Assigning projects or tasks – examples could include organizing the closet, clean the bathrooms, wash and wax my car, rearrange the bedroom (I want a shelf here and the furniture this way, etc), clean and sanitize all of my toys and organize them neatly.

    All of these take a while and get me out of her hair for a long time but still keeps the D/s dynamic and feeling alive.

    Previously, she has said “I’m busy right now, Kneel here beside me, facing away from me. Be still and quiet.”

    Simple, effective, and I was happy to kneel quietly while she toiled away on her laptop.

    So I let her know that those seemed to work for her in the past and that I enjoyed being given the opportunity to follow her direction instead of being told “I’m not in the mood right now” or being ignored.

    Any other thoughts on the topic or input from your Doms that you could share?

  • #3052

    Beth [MM]

    That’s a great list PK. Doing service things/tasks is a great way for us subs to serve our doms and keep us feeling subby. You could research a BDSM or other topic in which she is interested. Do your own research on stuff you are interested, read a book, work on/learn a skill to add to the ways you can serve her. Maybe she could keep a task list for you that you could refer to when she isn’t in the mood to be overtly dominant so you can do things for her that you know she wants done, and she doesn’t have to come up with something on the spot.

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