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    • #61351
      SarahS
      Participant

      Hello everyone, I finally decided to access the site on my laptop and it’s so much easier to maneuver “lol”. Ok so a little about me. I am a beautiful Caribbean black woman, 27 years of age, who stands 5ft 5in. I enjoy reading mangas, watching anime, cooking/baking, doing DIY projects (mainly home décor or event planning), listening to various music and expressing my sub/little self through writing or simply creating content on my tumblr. I am currently a stay at home wife/ foster parent (I occasionally take care of children who were displaced from their homes due to their homes being deemed as unsafe). I was introduced to the BDSM/ddlg community by my first Dom who I met while being a cam girl (no longer doing this). In all honesty approaching ddlg was a bit scary for me but he respected my boundaries and the connections we made were beautiful. I was able to experience a side of myself, I didn’t know I had. We parted ways after a year for various reason (It’s a long story, I’d be happy to share it asked). Since then I have been searching for a Dom, who is able to rekindle that fire inside me and make me want to be HIS sub. From my search I have realized, a lot of people who say they are doms… are really just horny men looking for a girl he can emotionally, sexually and mentally exploit (my last dom was the worst, that’s also another story I’ll tell if asked). I view myself as a Alpha/Bratty sub, I am still trying to figure out the difference with the two, but to explain myself. I am probably the most strong-willed person you’ll know. I typically take control in my regular life and rarely get a chance to have someone else take control. It’s been hard for me to find a Dom because I don’t and won’t follow you blindly and I probably will push back at times and it’s not because I do it for fun, but It’s just who I am. You could also say its a security defense I’ve built up over the years to protect the “sub me” from being toyed with by someone who doesn’t deserves my obedience. However, once you have broken through my defenses, you’ll probably be surprised to know how much of a sweetheart I can be.

      I believe in every relationship there should be three things: Trust, Honesty and Transparency, so I will disclose the only thing I typically withhold from others due to fear of being judged…I am a happily married woman who has no intentions of leaving my husband, I discovered I was into bdsm while engaged and did break off my engagement to avoid hurting him seeing he had no experience with bdsm. However, he was persistent that he still wished to get married so we did, and it’s great being married to the man I love. However, there are times when the sub/little in me desires to be with someone who understands bdsm a bit more, I have tried over the years to get him interested and its a slow process (especially seeing he’s more of a romantic lover, than a degrade me now, pet me later lover). He and I have both agreed, until he is able to get to where I would like him to be, I am able to find a Dom who is ok with these terms. I am putting this all here because I’m sure I’m not the only one with a poly/opened marriage. My husband wants no involvement in the dynamic so there will be no issues there.

      I would typically tell anyone who asks, that I don’t view my regular self and my sub self as one. When I’m the grown up me, life comes first before my wants and needs. Everyone gets taken care of and I’m praised of being a great wife, friend, daughter, etc. On the other hand when I am the sub/little me, I thoroughly enjoy being degraded and praised at the same time. I want to turn off the responsible side of me and have someone else take control of life…lol I don’t know if this makes any sense but my split personalities is what makes it easy for me to balance two relationships, with two different people. Would it be easier if I had everything I desired all packed into one guy, ABSOFUCKINGLUTELY! But, I don’t…yet, and I’m fine with patiently waiting to find someone who can work with and understand this dynamic, if I don’t find that person, that’s also fine because I’m sure I’ll be able to make friends and learn new things as well. 🙂

       

      Thank you for reading if you got this far. <3

    • #61352
      amber95
      Participant

      Thank you for being so open! I hope you find the right Dom for you.  It’s great that you know who you are. It’s taken me far to long to do that. And you’re 100% correct, too many men misunderstand what a Dom means to us (although I’m sure different people have different definitions).

       

      • #61353
        SarahS
        Participant

        Thank you Amber, and yes you are so right! I am happy you have found who you want to be, stay strong. 🙂

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