The Man in the Arena

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    • #2708
      Masterdym (MG)

      How many people do you think interprets a man showing vulnerability as sexually attractive?

      Your first thought is probably the correct one, and was spelled out overwhelmingly recently when this question was posed to a group of individuals at a Houston area play party. Unsurprisingly, most responded that they did NOT find vulnerability in a man attractive.

      That is because so many misinterpret vulnerability as weakness. Weakness has long been known to be a sexually unattractive quality in men, and therefore is not a large step to equate vulnerability to sexual unattractiveness.

      This in my opinion reflects a deep misunderstanding of what vulnerability really represents. So I am writing this to call bullshit on the current perceptions, and offer insight into the deeper meaning of the term, and that when most see actual expressions of vulnerability, they do not interpret them as weakness, but as expressions of strength and courage, which IS attractive.

      Merriam-Webster defines vulnerable as:

      capable of being physically or emotionally wounded
      open to attack or damage :assailable
      Synonyms – endangered, exposed, open, sensitive, subject (to), susceptible, liable
      Antonyms – insusceptible, invulnerable, unexposed, unsusceptible
      Related Words – likely, prone; uncovered, undefended, unguarded, unprotected, unscreened, unsecured
      Near Antonyms – covered, guarded, protected, safeguarded, screened, secured, sheltered, shielded, warded

      Nowhere here is the word weakness used in the definition. Instead, its showing that those who are capable of being physically or emotionally wounded are considered vulnerable.

      In addition, looking at the antonyms does not reveal the use of the word strength to define the opposite of vulnerability.

      I have found what I believe is a perfect expression of the meaning of vulnerability. The below quote is an excerpt from the speech “Citizenship In A Republic” delivered at the Sorbonne, in Paris, France on 23 April, 1910 by Theodore Roosevelt.

      It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.

      If you consider these words carefully, what its revealing is that only those willing to stand up and enter the arena, to participate, to struggle, in order to achieve success, are the ones who attain high achievement.

      Daring greatly is to expose oneself to risk. To expose oneself to the possibility of attack and being wounded. It is the greatest expression of true vulnerability, and is also one of the most courageous acts of bravery.

      The critic who sits back in safety, protected, unexposed, does not count, nor the man who merely points out how the strong man stumbles. The fear that prevents action is where weakness originates, not from those who expose themselves to risk.

      This understanding is the crux of the statement that it takes great strength to submit, because they are expressing the courage by exposing themselves to attack and being wounded physically and emotionally.

      To express vulnerability is to stand up and take part in life by engaging it in pursuit of greatness.

      Vulnerability is putting yourself out there to be seen with all of your human imperfections. To show your authentic self.

      ..and THAT is sexy as FUCK!


      • This topic was modified 3 weeks, 6 days ago by Missy.
    • #2710

      I <3 this! Thanks for writing it! I do love my Daddy for many reasons and a big one is that he never runs from my pain and lets me hurt alone. And he never runs from his pain too ? I think his bravery in the midst of vulnerability is very attractive.

    • #2711

      When I hear the word vulnerability I think of Brene Brown. Her Ted Talk on the subject is just awesome.

      “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability, and authenticity. If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.”
      “Vulnerability is not about fear and grief and disappointment. It is the birthplace of everything we’re hungry for.”
      “Vulnerability is not about winning, and it’s not about losing. It’s about having the courage to show up and be seen.”
      “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they are never weakness.”
      – Brene Brown

      I want a man that is fully present and not afraid to show emotion.

      And you are right that is Sexy as Fuck.

    • #2712

      I agree with you and have learnt a totally different way of viewing vulnerability through our D/s relationship. Before vulnerability was something which I tried to hide but I have realised that it was the key in achieving the intimacy between HisLordship and I that we have now. It is essential that he makes himself vulnerable to me too because otherwise there is no risk, no barriers pushed and the trust between you does not grow in the same way.

    • #2713
      Masterdym (MG)

      @princess Brene’s books are what gave me the inspiration to write this writing.

      • #2715

        I have only read the last one Braving the Wilderness but I do want to read the others.

    • #2714
      Masterdym (MG)

      well, to be clear, the event at the party inspiried the writing by revealing the wide gap in understanding what vulnerability is, but I relied on Brene’s work for the informative portions of the writing.

    • #2716

      I think it’s sad that so many people look at being vulnerable as being weak. To me a man who is willing to be vulnerable is extremely attractive. It shows the level of trust he has. If you are willing to be vulnerable, then you show the other person you trust them. Our society puts those who are not willing to trust on a pedestal they do not belong on.

    • #2856

      I think that a man who is able to be emotionally exposed

      And vulnerable , who is able to be loved and to

      Love from the deepest places in his soul.. is a man who is very

      Brave, and the farthest from being weak. We have been

      Programmed to compute certain actions as weak

      And undesirable if being exhibited by males.. but I

      Think men who are able to accept and embrace what

      Truly belongs to who they are.. those men may be

      Braver and stronger than the man who would go

      His whole life without ever expressing who he truly is.

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