Service?

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    • #5836
      Missy (Founder)
      Keymaster

      What does service mean in your dynamic?  What sorts of acts of service do you perform and do you use tools to track them?

      Please leave your thoughts via the replies below.

    • #6010
      Anonymous

      My Sir and I recently sat down and set up a schedule for my days. Each day I have home, personal, and D/s tasks. I now view most of my day as service to My Sir. It is amazing how a change of perspective can make even mundane tasks, like laundry, more meaningful. One thing that My Sir specifically asked me to do was make the bed everyday. I love to see the look on his face every night when we prepare to turn in as he looks at the made bed! One thing that was a perpetual problem for me was folding and putting away the clean laundry. I have such a sense of accomplishment when I walk into our closet and see all of our clothes neatly hanging or folded on our shelves. Another thing My Sir enjoys is having a meal ready to eat when he comes in from the day. There are days that he won’t arrive home until very late and he doesn’t expect us to have held the meal for him, he just loves to know that there is going to be something for him to dig his teeth into as soon as he can get to the table. I recently read “Real Service” (thanks for the recommend Missy), and while most of it does not apply to our D/s situation, it had some great words of wisdom for anyone who wants to provide useful service. My adjusted attitude towards service is another wonderful positive that has come into our relationship since D/s.

    • #53574
      Anonymous

      I am sub to my wife.  Basically her ordes are:  Listen to me, be patient with me, love me, obey me, pamper me, and do all the housework.   I do all that and our marriage is the best it’s ever been.

    • #53594
      Anonymous

      My husband has a high pressure career where someone wants a piece of him 24/7.  I consider it an honor that I hold his heart and I have instant access to him no matter what time of day or what is going on.  I  don’t abuse that either….

      …a huge thing for me when I retired as a burned out registered nurse was for me to keep the household running smoothly.  I am the financial guru of the two of us and I manage the budget, bills, etc.  while I always tell him each paycheck where money went and things coming up that are big expenses, and he appreciates it, he is not that interested in getting too deep in it. He trusts me.  He trusts me to keep track of appointments, birthdays, events, dog vet visits.  He is agreeable and will help me do anything I need but when he comes home the last thing I want him to even think about are things to do around here.  I want him to be able to totally and completely relax and enjoy and even has his own ‘me time’.  I really have to push for him take his own time.  And for him that means on occasion staying up all night playing one version or another of the Call of Duty franchise.  He does that about once a week or so.

      For me service to him is making his life a little smoother.  In any way I can. And fun.  For him the number one thing he really loves and wants from me, other than sex, is to make him laugh.  And that is the fun part.  We even laugh during scenes and sex.  Life should not be taken seriously.  He says I should be a comedian  but really he is my audience of one!  No one else would get my weird sense of humor anyways.

      He doesn’t use a tracking tool.  I like daily lists as I tend to get more done that way. But we have been together for decades.  He has so much going on at work that the last thing he wants to do is peruse my to do lists or tasks.  Initially I would show him and he was happy but really, it was just another piece of paper or thing for him to consider and he doesn’t need that right now.  Just a happy, mentally healthy wife who loves and adores him, a nice lit joint of homegrown, hot tub, loads of loving, a good meal.  He is pretty easy going.

      • This reply was modified 52 years, 6 months ago by .
    • #59144
      Jkj111
      Participant

      Acts of service is very big in our dynamic. I’ve always struggled with making the bed, folding laundry etc. Unitl my Sir explained why he loves climbing into a made bed I just didn’t see a reason. Yes it now helps that there are consequences if the basic chores aren’t done but just his thank you and appreciation motivate me. I don’t keep track of my acts of service since we are married.

    • #63121
      Lowlander
      Participant

      Being a good servant it’s observant is part of what keeps me from being totally submissive.

      Actually much of what I do not like with B & D was screwed up by a messed up step mother many years ago

      • #63123
        CruelsSexPuppet
        Participant

        Hi lowlander. I’m sorry to hear that your past experiences have colored how you feel about submission (B&D?) What parts do you enjoy? What parts about service do you dislike?

    • #63125
      Lowlander
      Participant

      Physical contact and interaction.

      I like being pursued and used.

      Want to be constrained and forced to be moderately abused. Being passive is very much part of my nature.

      Had a domme tell me she wanted me to clean her house.

      That ain’t happening.

      I’ve never been a sub … yet

      Had a couple girls force me once.

      What they did hurt me. So much so that I won’t go for a colonoscopy.

      They literally and totally buried a double headed dildo in me.

      I have issues with my physique- it shrunk and doesn’t work anymore… part of being a diabetic (I think)

      This is probably going to sound unusual but, I like the idea of being treated like a submissive lesbian.

      If I had lost my junk totally I would happily be a lesbian.

      I cannot continue this conversation at the moment Im at the coffee shop and a buddy of mine who has no idea where my thoughts are at is about to roll up here for coffee.

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