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    • #1351
      Missy (Founder)

      Notes from the chat:

      Keeping Safe can cover a number of areas from maintaining privacy to playing with other people or just safety in the bedroom.


      Created a separate email address that is not connected to your real identity and use a different name.

      Don’t include pictures of you in any of your profiles.

      When you meet up with local people try always to meet somewhere like a bar or hotel.

      If you are writing online then make sure there is at least two degrees of separation in what you post.

      Using pictures on kinky sites that you have on your vanilla profiles can link back to each other.

      Things like posting half of your face and the other half in a next pic can be easily joined together for people to figure out who you are.

      Facebook will search for friends due to a telephone number link so try to keep accounts separate.

      Not having fixed IP address to your home can also help. – this is a site about social engineering and how people can get your real identity from info you post. There are a lot of free VPN apps and software and it is a good guide for what is good.

      ScanGuard is rated as one of the top programs out there for VPNs – it can gives 3 VPN’s in US, 2 in Europe and 1 in Australia


      It’s good to test new impact toys

      The importance of safewords can’t be stressed enough.

      The Dom checking in is very important.

      You can’t completely rely on safewords when a sub is in subspace so use lots of communication and being honest.

      Note Doms get safewords too – well they’re in charge so they can just stop or maybe the sub is enjoying it but they are having hang ups about the activity, it’s better instead of abruptly stopping the scene. It gives a reason rather than the sub feeling like they did something wrong and they haven’t pleased their Doms.

      Sometimes you don’t want to safeword but it’s better than your Dom hurting you in a bad way without him knowing and it causes lack of trust, Your Dom has to trust that you will use your safewords if/when needed

      If a Dom feels that he is not getting the signals back that he would expect he should pause play and find out what is going on.

      Don’t do suspension unless you know what you’re doing and read up on bondage, especially rope play if you don’t know what you are doing. It is too easy to cut off circulation.

      Look out for choking.

      Make sure the sub can get out of bondage on their own in case the Dom faints or has a heart attack or leaves and forgets the sub tied up! If it does happen, who will call the police?,_safety,_and_risks

      Make sure that you provide lots of aftercare following a scene.

    • #51261

      In my last relationship we had multiple levels of safewords:

      “Mercy” = “I need an immediate halt.”

      “May I beg?” = “I’m fine but must communicate something important before we continue.”

      “Please hold me” = “I want to go on but need a few moments of comforting and rest.”

      When counting strokes the choice of honorific helped let me know where she was at:

      “One, Sir. Thank you, Sir” = “All good”

      “Ten, Sir. Thank you, Master” = “I am really feeling this.”

      “Twenty, Master. Thank you, Master” = “Holy crap! Please don’t make it any worse than this!”

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