Rituals – what, why and how?

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    • #4816

      What are some of the rituals that you have as part of your dynamic, why did you choose them, and how do they work for you? Please leave your answers to the above question below

    • #5485
      Beth [MM]

      We have a collar changing ritual. I have a day collar, and a night collar that I sleep in. I kneel before MM and ask to serve him, then he changes my collar to fit the time of day. It helps to reinforce our roles. It reminds us of my service to him and his protection and guidance of me.

    • #6013

      One very important ritual for us is my making of the bed everyday. I have never been one to see the sense in making a bed, “I’m just going to mess it up again in a few hours, so why waste the time?” has been my feelings on a made bed. I was never made to make my bed as a child, and the only time I ever made my bed with any regularity was when I was in the military and it was REQUIRED. So, when My Sir and I sat down to make a schedule so that I would make good use of my time everyday, he reiterated to me how much he likes to see a made bed. I, now, religiously make the bed every day. As I make the bed it helps me to remember how the little gestures can be even more important in a relationship than the big ones. Straightening the covers and placing the pillows on the bed are a daily reminder to me of how important it is that My Sir knows that he means the world to me. Making the bed may not seem like a big deal, but for me it is a HUGE commitment to always do what makes My Sir happy.

    • #6581

      We have a very specific ritual that takes place every morning. It has become the most important time of the day for both of us. It consists of three parts; rug time, inspection, and some kind of (brief) kink play. Master has a chair where I kneel, or worship at his feet. It sits at the corner of a rug in our bedroom. We both have mantras of dedication we say to each other, reaffirming our roles and love for one another. They have evolved and changed over time, and are similar each day, but spoken from the heart, so not identical. We also discuss any issues we may have. On long, weekend mornings we may discuss rules, plans for the day, or other bigger topics of our D/s dynamic. It is a time for open communication. We may request rug time whenever, or bring up topics during the day saying we will discuss it at rug time. It is a space where I feel the most submissive, the most his, the most secure and open. It evolved naturally as a need we both had entering into our roles. We keep it up when traveling by making a rug with a towel or other similar object on the hotel (or other room) floor. The kink is of Master’s choosing, but we have some favorites. It started as a morning “maintenance” spanking, but has expanded into other things. During inspection, I am only partially dressed and turn around for him. It has given me great confidence in my body, seriously raising my personal body image. I have other chores that are also part of our morning ritual; making the bed before rug time, making his breakfast and coffee afterwards.

      These rituals hold me together through the day. There are other small things, formalities in the way we greet each other, but this is the most significant.

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