Random things you've learned through bdsm

This topic contains 14 replies, has 5 voices, and was last updated by  Curveycatsub 1 week, 3 days ago.

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  • #6815

    WannaBeSub
    Participant

    Being new I am learning a lot. But here are a few things that suprised me…

    I enjoy being spanked as a solitary activity, even when there is nothing sexual happening.

    My Dom enjoys me masturbating even when he is not with me.

    I’m a bit of a pain slut.

    Simple chores aren’t such a chore when you are doing them for your Doms pleasure. What I mean by this is I hate doing dishes, but when I get a message that tells me to take my clothes off and go wash the dishes it becomes fun because not only am I pleasing him, I’m doing something naughty.

    Starting in the lifestyle requires a lot of talk about sex, and that seems to lead to more sex and better sex. 😁 (even when it’s vanilla)

    My list of hard limits is shockingly short.

    Bondage for the sake of bondage is amazing.

    It’s addictive!

    Thats just the short list of things I’ve learned in the past couple of weeks. I would love to know what you’ve learned about yourself or partner that surprised you.

  • #6816

    newsubpet58
    Participant

    I’m very new to this dynamic only about 5 months in. I became a widow in December 2017 at 57 years old. Began my normal vanilla dating routine as I knew it from back in 2003. Boy it changed! I met my Master (didn’t know he’d be my Master then lol) online. We had a crazy strong chemistry immediately. One thing led to another and we became Master/pet. Though in my twenties I had desires of bondage with sex, I wasn’t aware of my submissive nature….until Master R came along. He brought something out in me I did not know was there…my inner cat. I had recently lost 55 lbs and was now finding myself again. He’s still “training” me but I’ve embraced this dynamic and our intimacy has leaped past my former inhibitions (no really crazy stuff) and I’m participating and enjoying things I NEVER would have thought possible before. He is also mentoring me in my life and my business (has a Masters degree.. wow I just got that lol) and very wise and intelligent. What I’ve learned from BDSM is that it brings me to a place within my mind that actually frees me to explore my inner self and also frees me from my daily worries and the rigors of daily business activities and concerns. It has also helped me to love my body enough to fulfill His fantasies with sexy photos and I have a lot of fun with that. I have a collar but he has not officially collared me yet. But I have a photo I took with my collar on and the caption says it all..”My collar represents freedom, not bondage”.

    • #6857

      Curveycatsub
      Participant

      Ahhhh so, Happy for you both ! Who knew subMitting gives you ultimate Freedom to be You ^^

  • #6817

    WannaBeSub
    Participant

    I’m intrigued. Was he part of the lifestyle before? We are about a month in, and neither one of us have any experience so we are figuring it out together. Creating our own protocols and such. For example I do not call him Sir. And key words to signal when we are starting and stopping a scene. I love that we don’t have to do it the same ways someone else does. It’s so much more personal when its customised and it allows us to better meet eachothers needs.

  • #6818

    newsubpet58
    Participant

    Yes he had one other sub before years ago. He bases what we do on me. He introduces new things to explore and pushes me out of my comfort zone respectfully with an open mind to my limitations. But every time, I end up enjoying it. Go figure. He “gets” me, and I “get” him. Some of the things he introduces are so very intimate, it bonds us. This is like nothing I’ve ever experienced before.

  • #6819

    WannaBeSub
    Participant

    The intimacy is something that drew me in as well. Along with the absolute requirement of communication. I know there are people who meet online or in clubs and scene together, but I can’t wrap my head around it. I would not be brave enough to share that level of intimacy with someone I don’t trust explicitly. I’m not even talking about the casual sex… even if there was no sex and everyone was fully clothed. I just can’t imagine a random person spanking me, or binding me in any way. But at the same time, if I were in a club and my Dom passed me off to someone else (for non-sexual activity… HARD LIMIT!) I would do it because he required it of me. And I trust his judgement to not turn me over to someone who would do me harm, and to stand and stop whatever it was before it got too far of necessary.

  • #6820

    newsubpet58
    Participant

    My Master isn’t into the club thing and he will not share me. I’m His and that’s that. I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so anyway. I only trust him.

  • #6821

    WannaBeSub
    Participant

    I want to go to a club so bad I can’t stand myself. Im sure it would be for observation only. Like you I know there is no way in hell that my Dom would share me in any way. But I would love to watch otheres scene and to see all the equipment in person.

    • #6822

      newsubpet58
      Participant

      I want our own “red room” lol which is something I never thought I’d say. That’s what blows my mind. I’m exploring things that used to be so foreign to me and I’m enjoying it….a lot of self discovery going on.

  • #6823

    WannaBeSub
    Participant

    Oh yes… I want to be suspended. We haven’t gotten that far yet… YET! lol but I love his ropes.

  • #6824

    Curveycatsub
    Participant

    sounds like you are having a Wonderful time !

    Taste all the Flavors ,

    ^^

  • #6839

    WannaBeSub
    Participant

    Working on it. 😍

  • #6852

    What I have learned from my girl is how it feels to be truly loved for me. Completely. she wants nothing from me materially but I want everything for her. she hangs onto every word I say, watches every tiny facial inflection, she can even tell what emotion I’m feeling by how I breath and will ask ‘What’s wrong’ if I even hint in the most subtle way that something is bothering me.

    I have leaned that she has few hard limits, maybe the fingers of one hand at most, though as we agree, we haven’t come close to trying everything yet. she knows and loves my kinks in relation to her and is so eager to please and go further than I initially expect.  She also tells me that she’s discovered things about herself that she never realised she had inside or was capable of, to which I say she never had a man who cared enough to find out and unlock the door, their loss.

     

     

  • #6853

    WannaBeSub
    Participant

    Yes, I think half the joy comes from the exploration together. And making the effort to really tune into what you need and want from eachother.

  • #6854

    her_captive_eyes
    Participant

    What i have learned from my Sir is what it means to be seen and accepted for who i am for the first time in my life.  He is the most generous man i have ever met.  There is a sincerity in his heart that can be felt in every aspect of his demeanor. The unconditional love that my Sir speaks of is merely his love being reciprocated, redamancy.  i am immensely grateful that he had the courage to approach me when i thought i was unseen.

    About myself, i have learned that i am free to express my desires to be spanked or bound.  i love exploring the enjoyment i derive from pain. The trust i have for my Sir enables me to submit to desires i had only fantasized about or as he says i never realised i was capable or even considered doing. i look forward to a future that includes discovery for both of us.

     

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