- 14/09/2020 at 9:58 am #48087Kay KayParticipant
<p style=”text-align: left;”>I am fairly new at being a sub, and I’ve only had one Dom before, whom introduced the whole bdsm world to me. I fell in love with him without knowing it because I trusted him and he actually understood me—he fell in love with me too.</p>
It didn’t work out unfortunately, and I’m struggling with losing him more than I thought I would—and I’m sure it’s about him being the first person I trusted with D/s and made me feel comfortable.
Does anyone have any advice for getting over your first Dom that you fell in love with? Any tips for letting myself open up to anyone else?
Is it normal to become attached to your first Dom like this?
- 14/09/2020 at 3:47 pm #48088sass c.Participant
I’m sorry that you’re going through this. I can understand the struggle of losing your Dom. My Dom recently left me and while he wasn’t my first, it still opened up a world of hurt.
I think it’s pretty common for a sub to develop some sort of feelings for their Dom. I’ve had people tell me not to get attached, but in a D/s relationship, it’s easier said than done. A D/s relationship oftentimes requires more trust than a vanilla relationship. The more control you give your Dom, the more you must trust them as well. So you become vulnerable with them.
I’m not sure if you feel the same, but for me, losing my Dom felt like I was losing a part of myself. The heartbreak was far worse than any other heartbreak I’ve ever experienced. So to answer your question, it’s pretty common for a sub to become attached their Dom (not necessarily just their first). I hope that you are able to find solace in the support of this community.
- 15/09/2020 at 12:01 am #48092Kay KayParticipant
Thats definitely how it almost feels. I thought that I was being overly emotional about it. I appreciate your kindness 🙂
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