new and have become terrified

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    • #5641

      I am extremely new to this lifestyle and have a serious question, In a past relationship, my husband used to beat me or verbally abuse me every day. Beat meaning I used to have to go to the hospital to have my eye sewed back up, knocked unconcious with a telephone, spit on ect…. now, my question is this, will ‘ a D/s relationship bring back all those terrfied abused feelings? and make the situation worse? Cus I have one Dom that i am talking to that i am really interested in but it is in the beginning stages IE: we just talk on the phone ect… not ready to meet yet

    • #5643
      Beth [MM]

      Hi Secretsensations, welcome.

      I’m glad you are no longer in that abusive relationship. “Will a D/s relationship bring back all those terrified abused feelings…?” It might, but it might not. It really depends on your new relationship, how you react to things now, and also how your new dom treats you. A good dom will respect your limits and your safewords. It’s very important you discuss this with them. They need to be aware of any triggers you may have. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to, and you have the right to speak up and let your dom know you are having a problem. A dom should take care of their sub. You both hold equal value in the relationship even though the power balance is shifted.

      I hope you had/are having counseling to help you work through your abuse. You should be able to talk to your counselor/therapist about your interest in D/s and they should be open minded about it. And hopefully that will help you through some of difficulties you come up against.

      Good luck and feel free to ask questions here or in chat.

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