Need some guidance

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    • #8902
      bloomoffthevine
      Participant

      Not sure if this is the right place for this, but really needing a woman to talk to that understands all this.  Mom and I usually really close, but it just freaks her out, and have no one.  Lots of intense feelings I’m trying to sort out on my own.  Past several months or so, have been doing the swinging thing.  Husband and I used to some, but he died this past September.  Had one guy pull just enough moves on me to intrigue me, then disappear.  So do some research.  Got involved with a second guy with really no experience but a willingness to try new things.  So over the past few months, has been self-discovery for us both.  But change in circumstances, may not even be able to see each other even one more time.  Sincerely hope we can, have some closure.  I have chronic pain and depression, and if I can get a good work over with my flogger, crop, pinwheel, combined with some clawing, biting, hair pulling, light choking and slapping, it just makes my whole body limp and pain free, makes my mind soothed and calmed, plus gives me a really contented feeling.  Never higher a high.  Sex just an option at this point, even though highly aroused.  This is complicated by me attaching sex and comfort, so use sex as a coping mechanism.  Further complication is that I have bonded to this guy.  Have such a roller coaster of emotions, giddy before meeting, mental intensity of scene, raw intensity of sex that follows, comfort of sleeping together afterwards, have to travel two hours to see him, and start to break down about halfway home.  Just long for him, and for another experience, and just feel like all of this is as potent as heroin, it’s like an addiction.  Never felt this way about men or sex ever before.  This is something that I’d really like to continue if I can find someone interested in on-going.  Live in United States, Southeastern states, “Bible Belt”, bring it up and they run away.  I guess I just need some advice on how to ride this roller coaster going into the future, or better yet, how to not get on it in the first place and manage things better.  Any response would be greatly appreciated, really at sea here and need some help.

    • #9123
      Sweet (MrH)
      Keymaster

      Hi

      What you’re describing sounds like what we sometimes refer to as sub frenzy.  The intense highs from play scenes become as you say addictive.  During the early months many of us feel this, and it does pass.  I imagine the lockdown has made this quite difficult too.

      Sweetgirl

    • #9175
      Captain’s Girl
      Participant

      Consider looking into the BDSM community in your area. Even here in the deep south, the community is  active. Look for a munch or something to get started if you are interested. It seems like a better option to go into a situation with everyone knowing whats up… instead of trying to convert someone vanilla.

       

    • #9209
      bloomoffthevine
      Participant

      Thanks for your advice, but how would I go about finding such in my area?

    • #9213
      Captain’s Girl
      Participant

      Google. Search BDSM munch with your state or city (if you don’t live in a small town). But remember privacy is valued, so if by chance you see someone you recognize make sure you dont share that info with anyone.

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