My answer…..


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    • #994

      I’m a newbie to all this and haven’t even had my first scene yet but here’s how I understand it:

      Play” is just that, playing with your submissive. Unscripted usually, it comes in all forms and sizes. Play does not typically require much planning or preparation beforehand and often times is spontaneous. Playtime is also an opportunity for the Dominant and submissive to learn what turns each other on and can provide ideas for their next scene together, where they will have the opportunity to take things further.

      A “scene” is a carefully planned and choreographed event, usually lasting between 1-5 hours. Scenes require planning and preparation ahead of time and usually the use of a hotel room or empty house with no chance for disruption, so that both players can commit wholeheartedly to the scene and be free to act and react without having to hold back.

      The most important factor for a Dominant to consider with regards to a scene is to always have a plan. In planning, he should first determine what he wants to transpire during the scene. He should decide what special toys or items are needed to execute his vision, what will remain a surprise to the submissive or be revealed ahead of time, if there will be role playing involved ie/ student/teacher, police officer/criminal, etc.

      Once the Dominant has formulated his plan for the scene, he must give his submissive specific and detailed instructions on how to prepare. Several days in advance of the scene, the Dominant will send his submissive a note/email detailing his needs and expectations of her. These are things such as:
      • How he wants her hair (up, down, dry, wet, dyed a certain colour, etc)
      • How he wants her make up (light, pretty, slutty, etc)
      • What she should be wearing (lingerie, skirt, etc) or if he prefers her to be naked
      • Music (type of music such as classical, no music, her choice, etc)
      • Shoes (high heels, boots, none, etc)
      • Where and when he expects her (waiting in their hotel room for him, meeting him in the lobby or at a local café, etc)
      • If she is to meet him in the hotel room, what position is she to be in (be very specific, ie I expect you to be kneeling on the floor, facing the door, eyes down, hands behind your back; OR Laying on the bed with your legs spread, blindfold on, and hands cuffed to the bed)

      These are the things that show the submissive that her Dominant is thinking about her before their special day and help her prepare psychologically. These special requests/demands should be about what the Dominant desires and expects. Completing them gives the submissive a way to please her Dominant, which is part of the build up to the scene.

      It is important to have Downtime within a few hours after a scene or the following day. The submissive is able to share what she thought of the scene in general, what she liked the most, the least, if there would have been anything that she preferred the Dominant do or not do, etc. The Dominant is able to share what pleased him, what did not, what he expects from his submissive for future performances.


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