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      This is a long one, written as part explanation and part introspection about what makes a Dom.

      Thanks to Hana and CSP for encouraging my writing. After talking to them in the group chat I was made much more comfortable and decided to write this unabridged, with all the good and bad of going from confused teen to semi-knowledgeable (and always learning) Dom.


      Do some folks start out as a Dominant, having the inherent traits that will lead them to always end up this way? Or is it more nurture than nature, a long series of events that build to adulthood?

      I don’t know the answer and it’s very likely different for each of us. I got to thinking about how I ended up where I am and decided to write it out. If this resonates with you I’m glad to show you that you aren’t then only one; if your experience has been entirely different then this may be an interesting read on how a very different path led to a similar point. If you’re a sub, I hope this brings some insight into the mind and making of a Dom. For all I hope it’s entertaining and I’ll tell you now that every bit is true. This isn’t every person I’ve ever been involved with, but the most memorable and those who had the greatest effect on turning me into the Dom I am today. Don’t judge me until the end if you have to at all (safety, lack of aftercare, etc), we all started off not knowing who we were or what we were doing…


      I have severe depression which started at a pretty early age. Hard to pinpoint the first day, but growing up in a household void of emotional intimacy in an environment where status in family, friend groups and school all depended upon what you could add for the people around you certainly didn’t help. It wasn’t any one thing; I was a head shorter than other kids my age, smart and fast but with no relationship prospects and very free interpersonal skills. By thirteen it was my routine to come home, go straight to my room, put on music and sit with a knife in my hand thinking of reasons not to kill myself that day. I had no outlet for the sexual frustrations that hit so hard at that age, so I turned to whatever I could to get a sexual thrill; for an example I would go to movies by myself during the matinee hours, sit in the back row and during the film I would strip completely. Not a stitch of clothing on sitting in a dark movie theater in the middle of the day. School held very little interest which led to terrible grades and a few suspensions. Things at home consequently got worse and I was sent to a second chance boarding school for kids with behavioral problems. I was thrilled to go as it meant getting out of the toxic environment I had been stuck in my whole life.


      I moved from the suburbs outside a major city and a high school of nearly 12,000 students (my year’s graduating class was 3,411) to a small town in New England with a boarding school population of 250 including teachers. My graduating senior class was eight students.


      I was freed of everything I was always expected to be, from trying to fit in with the popular crowd and following in my siblings footsteps on varsity teams and AP classes, my parents over my shoulder constantly judging and critiquing every decision. I spent my time in the woods, made new friends, and reinvented myself. In a semester I was getting all B’s, by the end of the first year I was getting straight A’s and running for student council. I got my first girlfriend.


      She was a year younger than me and a grade below me. I had kissed one girl before her. She had slept with 44 guys before me. She made me number 45, taking my virginity and subsequently trying to build up my confidence every chance she got to make me a better sexual partner for her. I’d ask if I snuck us to my room would she give me head, she’d lead me there herself immediately. I’d tell her a fantasy of sex in a classroom and that night I was inside her on top of the math teacher’s desk; benefits of living at the school. The one thing she couldn’t stand was having me finish in her mouth, and the one area I had complete control was if I held back and if told her or not that I was about to let loose. I came in her mouth so often she developed a taste for it and learned to love it. One great memory that absolutely played into a future inclination towards domination play was a rainy afternoon, the two of us sitting in the student lounge in one of the dorms watching a movie and we started getting frisky. Nobody else seemed to be around so she got down in front of me and sucked me off, her mouth and hand working on me as my hands cupped her breasts. Just as I was about to peak the door opened and another student walked in. She pulled back to keep from getting caught in the act, but I was already over the edge and as she looked back over my shoulder and made eye contact with this other student I shot my load, pump after pump across her face. Her shock was only matched by that of the student who interrupted us. They turned and left without a word, then she had to navigate the hallways to the bathroom and try to get herself cleaned up without running into anyone else. We were together for two years before I graduated, when I found out she had cheated on me consistently throughout the entire relationship. I’d been taught how to screw by an experienced girl and had my emotions torn to shreds while having my own sense of power and self worth built up all at once. My first real relationship, for better or worse, taught me that emotional attachment was a route to disaster and pain, and sexual gratification was a path to joy. I wonder where that will lead.


      The other major event that took place during my late high school years I’ll only summarize because it’s still traumatic to tell, but I had a 4 story rock climbing fall. Equipment failure and bad luck. Six bones, three vital organs, and a summer relearning to use my hands without screaming in pain at over-sensitized nerves. I had flatlined for 120 seconds after a fatal reaction to emergency room morphine and had to be shocked back. I was 17 and had learned that I was mortal, that we all only get a set amount of time and have to live the way we want because there are no second takes. Looking back it was another turning point and I started making decisions about my life for myself instead of for my family and friends.


      I went to college in Colorado and got my second real girlfriend. A brilliant girl, lithe and mousy bordering on elfish, she was shy in the extreme and while we both wanted each other she couldn’t bring herself to do anything with me. She did, however, want me to do things to her. Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t a stud who knew everything. The first time I visited her apartment to watch a movie together she told me she was going to take a bath, went into the bathroom by herself and left the door open. She was in there for almost an hour and it never occurred to me to go in after her!


      The first night we did spent together she told me she couldn’t do anything, but she’d be more than happy to kneel with her tongue out and have me use her mouth however I wanted. I took full advantage, standing before her and taking my time I slowly rubbed the tip of my cock back and forth over her tongue while we kept eye contact, never going deeper but watching as my tip spread precum over her hot wet tongue and the sensation pushed me over the edge, finally holding my tip midway on her tongue where I could watch as I shot rope after rope of semen into the back of her mouth. The following nights she offered me her mouth and pussy in any position I’d like, as long as I did all the work. We dated for a few weeks and I spent almost every night at her place, cooking her dinner, cuddling on the couch watching TV, then using her as an inanimate but extremely willing life sized toy. I was well on my way to Domination and had no idea.


      The next girl was a year or so later, a southern girl with a large apartment off campus paid for by her parents and few friends at the school. She made it clear from the start that she wanted me to set the pace and rules of our relationship as fast and hard as possible, and she’d be happiest if I told her exactly what I wanted, when I wanted it and took it from her by command or by force. I was so new to all this I barely made use of my newfound power in our dynamic and one of the few regrets looking back would be everything I didn’t do with her, though we did plenty. Once I was in full swing of being able to call her up at any time I would let her know I’d just had a rough day in class or at work and I was on my way over, that I expected her to be waiting naked and kneeling inside the door and I planned to use her throat as a cock sleeve and leave. She loved it and requested I do the same again anytime I wished.


      I’d go over for a movie night and she’d pick the film, preferring romcoms. I wasn’t interested so I told her to lay on the couch with her head in my lap and make sure her lips and tongue kept working on my balls while we watched. I told her to keep me hard as long as she could, that if she let me get soft or made me cum I’d tie her up and roughly fuck her in the ass, one of the few things she was afraid of. I’d never heard of edge play but it quickly got added to my repertoire as a favorite form of control. The power and ego boost that came from having a smart, capable woman concentrating solely on worshiping me through sexual service was intoxicating.


      We played a game where I’d have her wait naked and kneeling while I took a cold shower, intentionally shrinking myself. I’d get out and dry as quickly as possible, then have her take me to the hilt in her mouth. Holding her lips pressed against my base I’d start to grow, at first simply filling the space between her lips and sliding over her tongue, then extending back into her mouth and filling it to press into her throat. I’d hold her forcefully in place, not moving but gagging her as my dick got harder and larger between her lips and holding the back of her head to keep myself deep until I decided she could back off and suck me or I’d keep her in place gagging and coughing until I finished directly down her throat. She didn’t like the taste and actually preferred no matter how her mouth was being used that I finish by pushing myself as far into her throat as possible before unloading. I was trained well this way to adore deepthroat.


      She also introduced me to role play, even if she jumped right into the deep end with it. I was totally unprepared and inexperienced as you’ll see; I’ve since learned all about safe gags and bondage, not cutting off circulation and making sure I can untie my sub quickly if needed. This was before I knew anything so try not to judge, just knows and think to yourself “mmhmm, that’s why we teach new people”.


      She told me her fantasy was to have someone break in (first floor apartment) and force themself on her at night, then she dropped hints the rest of the week about leaving her balcony door unlocked. I finally took her up on the offer and told her I’d be free one night that week and would come by late. I was busier than usual and didn’t get home until well after ten, took my time with dinner and getting ready, and got to her apartment complex after 1am. Fulfilling my girlfriend’s fantasy I found myself dressed in black sweats, sneaking through the dark to pull on a face mask and break into her apartment while she slept. The beast that had been building inside me loved it, though I’ll admit I was unsure of how to feel about that at the time.


      I was torn between what I’d always been told was good and proper and what this consuming darkness wanted to do. Good people do not force themselves on anyone… but if that was exactly what the person wanted? More learning and introspection was needed. I knew forcing this girl to serve me was wrong by every standard I’d ever learned, and I knew with just as much truth that having her at my beck and call to be used any way I saw fit was the first time I could remember that I didn’t feel like every day was a fight to get out of bed and pretend to be happy. Having someone to use like this relieved so many self doubts that I wasn’t good enough or didn’t have the same to offer as someone else. It relieved all the sexual frustration in my life as any time I felt the slightest urge I could be deeply buried in a warm mouth or pussy with just a phone call and this freed me up to spend my days concentrating on school and myself instead of always looking to get laid. I was a terrible boyfriend and an even worse Dom, and it only worked as long as it did because she wanted to be used and neither of us knew what a healthy relationship like that should look like. I had never heard of aftercare, didn’t know anything about supporting the psyche or physical health of my sub and we honestly had very little contact that wasn’t sexual. We didn’t go out together or meet for lunch, I didn’t introduce her to friends or family, we didn’t talk snot what we each wanted from our relationship and from each other. I just used her and she only wanted to be used. I wish I had known better and I’m lucky she could get what she wanted at the time from what I was giving.


      That night went exactly as I had planned. I entered the sliding glass doors into her apartment without being seen and locked them behind me. I put down the backpack I had brought and pulled out a large camping knife. I climbed on top of her on the bed and she woke up with my weight pinning her down, my face hidden by a mask and the knife clearly in her sight. I had problems with everything I was doing. Rapists are dirt and deserve every bit of what they get in prison, but as an agreed upon scene I was trying to enjoy myself and this was and has been the most hardcore scene of its kind I’ve ever done. She was expecting me but not the mask or knife and couldn’t be entirely sure it was me in the dark. She complied with a mix of eagerness and fear as I stuffed a pillowcase in her mouth to keep her quiet, then wrapped another around her wrists. I took out a roll of duct tape and wrapped her wrists tightly, securing them together while the pillowcase kept the tape from pulling at her skin, my only concession to her wellbeing that night. She kept watching the knife, her eyes telling me she was trying to decide if it was real. I used it to cut a piece of duct tape so she could see and her eyes went wide.


      I put the duct tape across her mouth and the knife on the bedside table out of the way. I told her I wouldn’t need it if she was my good girl, a phrase she recognized and relaxed as she was assured it was in fact me behind the mask, then she tensed again as I told her forcefully that I’d come to take what I wanted that she had refused to give me and that I’d be spending the night fucking her pretty little ass. She started fighting and yelling through the tape and I held her down and stripped her. She’d be expecting me and was only wearing panties. She fought while I knelt above her to keep her in place on the bed, pouring lube down her crack and shucking my own sweatpants with nothing underneath. I lay over her, pressing down with my full weight on her shoulders as I slid my cock up and down between her cheeks. When I pushed the swollen head of my cock into her she tensed up but had nowhere to go and I had my full length inside her before long. She relaxed and moaned through the whole anal fucking, crying out into her gag as I thrust in a frenzy and pumped myself empty inside of her. I lay on top of her as I went limp and shrank again, pulling out of her and rolling beside her as we both lay panting. I carefully pulled off the tape over mouth and she immediately said something that cemented my movement into Dominance forever. “Oh my god, that’s the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me. Can we shower so I can suck your dick?”


      I’d have to figure out how I felt about what I was becoming, but now I knew there were women who wanted this and that it took away all of the pain and guilt and self loathing of depression and replaced it with strength, self confidence and control. I was hooked.


      We met only twice more, both times for dinner at her place, both times I fulfilled a long time fantasy of simply stating my command at a point during the meal and having my date get up and come over to suck me off while I finished eating. I was torn up about what I’d done, whether she wanted it or not I still wasn’t sure I did, and we broke up soon after. I heard later that she had started dating another guy who treated her much as I had or worse, using her without any caring and for the time she was happy with that. I hope she found better.


      I had seen what I could be, both the good and the bad, and had found something that took away the constant depressive pain I lived in day to day for as long as I could remember. I just wasn’t sure I could stand being the kind of person who could do that to someone regardless of how they felt about it. I got heavily into extreme sports, looking to find the same adrenaline rush I got from complete control of another person through risking my life rock climbing, mountain biking, sky diving, white water rafting and kayaking. A friend and I started buying cheap motorcycles on Craigslist for a hundred dollars, fixing them up and selling them for more then turning around to do it again. I’ll tell you that while they’re all fun, they are like a good burger for lunch compared to having had a fantastic steak for dinner. No matter what else I tried it just never quite came up to par with how bdsm made me feel. I joined ROTC, the Reserve Officer Training Corps which is a college student program to become a US military officer upon graduation. It was a distraction, a career path reasonably acceptable to family as it brought them bragging rights and status, and if I couldn’t find a way to get better mentally I could always hope for an honorable death by combat. Near graduation I looked at switching to infantry a few times with that goal in mind.


      I took a class at the college on sexual behavior. Course readings on sexuality and equal rights, the history of bisexuality and homosexuality throughout various cultures, women in the US being treated for hysteria with doctor-invented vibrators. Optional night seminars were given on safe, sane and consensual bondage, how to properly spank for maximum sting with minimum damage, dangers of the more extreme activities like breath play and fire play, a general overview of the whole world of latex and leather out there to be discovered. I attended every seminar and soaked it all up. I just had to find a way to put it to use.


      The next serious girlfriend was a stripper. We met through craigslist and were on our third or fourth date before she told me what she did for a living, so no that wasn’t why I chose her. I was an adrenaline junkie, rock climbing and fixing motorcycles in my free time and dating a woman that other men were paying just to drool over. I was also miserable and felt completely alone. She relieved some small portion of that and I took a foray into being the sub, or at least playing switch, being tied up and abused. Once she found I could take the pain, her favorite game was to bring me to the limit between acceptance and anger through emotional abuse, then push me over with physical violence in bed. This was no light tap or even the smack of a riding crop, she would be straddling me and let loose with full force punches until I snapped and took her hard. I’d spend the next day developing bruises I had to explain away as coming from my military training or sports. We were both unhappy and struggling to figure it out and this was as close as we could find. We didn’t last too long which was the best thing for both of us.


      After we had broken up I was at her place one day and she had to take a shower to get ready for something. I’d already seen her make plenty and she invited me to sit in the bathroom and keep talking to her while she showered. Halfway through I asked if she’d mind if I jerked off while watching her, and she laughed and said she’d gotten then same question from other guy friends before and that all guys were the same. I was humiliated and worked to never be the same as all other guys again.


      I started dating my first older woman. Just a few years my senior in age, she was more confident, more worldy and much more knowledgeable about bdsm. Where I had read a book or two and had an interest, she had a running subscription to several kink magazines and a closet full of leather. She was a sadist. Not the only thing she did but a good example: one day she was lighting a candle and I was standing nearby, she lit a match and put it out against my arm just to see what would happen. I

      was deep in it now, following her lead and playing switch for the next year. I’d suggest everyone give switch a try; there’s no better way to learn what your partner is feeling or to find out what you truly enjoy than experiencing it firsthand. I was introduced to being tied up, using a spreader bar on a woman, and all manner of games and play. I found out one of my favorite things is being on the receiving end of hot wax and since she enjoyed pouring it we played those games often. I had my first threesome with her and one of my friends, and she relentlessly built up my love of playing in public. Before her I had gotten head in the woods in high school and taken the southern girl for a nighttime walk for doggy style on a playground. Now I was going for hikes picked specifically for their seclusion, sitting in the back row of movie theaters and missing the movie while my girlfriend silently rode me, and getting roadhead almost every time I gave her a ride. I picked her up and drove her around every chance I got.


      Our relationship can be summed up best by an experience after we had broken up but remained friends. She had to get up to the mountains for a multiday job at a ranch and I had the day free so I offered to drive her. Jokes and music, just passing the time together as we made our way up winding roads and mountain passes through the Rockies. We joked and talked about sex but neither expected anything to happen, that was behind us and we were both on the market again looking for something new. At one point she mentioned how tired she was getting and I half-jokingly mentioned that to stay awake on long drives I always liked to jerk off. She surprised me by saying she did the same, fingering herself when driving at night or when she got bored in traffic. Conversation moved on but those thoughts stuck with me.


      While I kept us moving, she fell asleep curled up in the passenger seat. It had been a long day on the road and we were in an area of plains now without much of interest to concentrate on besides straight road. I thought about what she’d said and told myself “Well, she did say she does it too. She’s seen me naked, worst that can happen if she wakes up is she laughs.” I took myself out and started stroking as I drove.


      I must have gotten a bit louder as my breath got ragged, and the next time I looked over at her she had her eyes open and was watching me. I paused in embarrassment and she told me “Don’t stop. I want to see you cum.” I didn’t need any more invitation than that and went back to getting myself off while my ex-girlfriend watched from a few feet away. Her eyes kept rapt attention on my erection as I got close and I struggled to balance looking at her with looking ahead at the road. I came hard, shooting cum straight up and making a mess as it ran over my cockhead and down my tightly wrapped fingers. I looked at the road and then she was over my lap. Looking down I saw her laying across our seats with her head on my knees, her face turned towards my lap as she smiled not at me but at my cock. She grabbed hold of me, her hand around mine to keep it in place, and started licking my warm cum from cock tip and knuckles as I continued to pulse more out.


      She kept sucking and licking until I was spent and she had cleaned up every bit of cum she could find, then casually sat back and put her belt back on. I was in shock and riding a massive wave of endorphins, just waiting to see what she’d say. She told me “That was fun. Keep driving.” I did and she shucked her pants and fingered herself as my attention was again split between the road and the woman loudly and wetly finger fucking herself to climax beside me. When she finished she sat for a while bottomless then got dressed again and went on like nothing had really happened. I’d never before experienced casual sex like that, consenting adults just having fun, but similar friendly experiences became a hallmark of every friendship with an ex going forward.


      I dated one more girl seriously in college, cute and fun but far from adventurous. She had to talk to her girlfriends and get their opinion before doing anything and believed doggy style was insanely kinky. My biggest take away from that relationship was that I needed someone who could play the games I now enjoyed and who got the same enjoyment. Vanilla is only good as an ice cream flavor.


      I graduated and commissioned as an officer in the military. I sold off the two motorcycles I had gotten working (each $100 off craigslist with another $50 in parts added and “working” was a stretch, more of an emotional loss than anything) and prepared to travel the world. The military sent me to a station two hours south and kept me there for the next four and half years. I cursed, settled in and got a dog.


      I went back to craigslist, my best chance to find a girlfriend at the time. I didn’t do clubs, bars or gyms, didn’t know that many people and was not actively antisocial but avoided crowds and gatherings as they made me uncomfortable. Met two more women who were barely in my life story but had a lasting impact on who I’ve become.


      One was my age, only wanted to meet for sex and we only met twice. The first I went to her place, living with her parents, and we sat in her room and talked for a while which became mutual masturbation. I went down on her which I don’t think she’d gotten much before and was thrilled about, and she repaid me with an incredible blowjob laying on her stomach between my legs which finished with her asking for a facial. I agreed happily and when I was close to finishing I told her and she backed off, holding my dick inches from her face and stroking me while she moved my tip back and forth to shoot across her face from every angle. Then she left the room to go clean up, trying to hide the fact that her cheeks and chin were dripping with my cum. I was blown away, trying to understand why she would ask for it if she knew she’d have to sneak past her family to clean up. Sound familiar? The next time we met at her house again, having the place to ourselves this time, I learned that she truly enjoyed being embarrassed and subjugated, used and abused. She asked me to pretend to be an older boy in school with her and coerce her into having sex with me. I played my part, using lines like “If you don’t I’ll tell everyone you did” and “I’ll keep this our secret. Do what I say or everyone will know you’re a slut”. She loved it and got more and more into the game until I got down to her panties and didn’t know what to do. I asked her still in character “Are you going to take these off or should I rip them off you?” She was breathing hard with excitement and told me “Uh-huh” to have me rip them. I burst out laughing and completely killed the mood. I’d never run into this before and she was pissed but tried hard to get us back into character. We didn’t get together again.


      The other I only talked to but never met. She was the wife of an enlisted military guy who was deployed and told me she was on craigslist because they had an open marriage and she was allowed to find guys to mess around with to keep her satisfied while her husband was away. Right from the start I didn’t know if that was true and felt terrible for this guy if his wife was here cheating on him. She found out I was an officer and told me that could be really hot, wanting to answer my every command with “yes sir” and enthusiastic compliance. I was so unnerved, concerned about the damage to my career if anyone found out, and felt so bad for the husband that I cut her off and we never interacted again. This was yet another building block for me, however, to show that there were women out there who want to be used, who crave a guy demanding sexual obedience from them and would be more than willing to be on the receiving end of any fantasy.


      I met another older woman, this time ten years my senior. She was a masseuse fleeing an abusing relationship in another state and looking to start over and we both considered the other out of our league. I cooked dinner, she offered a massage during which she had me strip naked to get on her travel folding table and lifted the sheet towards her instead of away to catch a peek as I lay down, we went swimming in the apartment complex pool and shortly after mutual masturbation in the hot tub led to a shower, dating and her moving in with me. She was looking for something and someone new, a young guy to make her feel young again and to enjoy her body as she’d been denied in her previous relationship. I wanted a strong woman I could bend to my will and use to reach that commanding fulfillment of having complete control. I was early twenties and she was early thirties. We worked great together for almost two years before drifting apart, breaking up and staying friends.


      I would wake next to her in the morning, the first woman I’d ever lived with full time, and without a word I would put my hand on the back of her neck and direct her down to wake up and take me in her mouth. If I were in the mood I’d pin her to the wall or bend her over the kitchen counter and take her from behind before heading off to work, putting my wet cock back in my pants on the way out the door and leaving her to clean herself up. When I got home she’d be there and I’d drop my stuff, drop my pants and have her drop to her knees. Some nights she’d be cooking us dinner and I’d wait for a pause in her prepping, take her quick and rough over the counter, then sit back and watch her finish getting everything ready while I ran down her legs. She would then come sit and eat, clean and composed above the table, nude and messy use below. Every night was something new, trying out light bondage and every position imaginable, shower and outdoor and more.


      We joined a gym for some reason and I went along to keep her company. The first time we ran on the treadmill for a while, used the free weights for a bit then went to check out the sauna and steam room. The steam room was nearly always empty and coed. Bathing suits required of course, but she would set the steam high to block anyone seeing in through the door and sit one step down from me between my legs where I could rub her shoulders if anyone entered. When we were alone she’d turn her head towards my thigh and I’d bring my cock out one of the legs of my suit to allow her access to suck me off. We went to the gym twice a week for about three months, and I fucked her mouth in the public steam room about twice a week for three months.


      She built upon my love for public play one day as we were out to lunch at a bar restaurant and sitting in a booth with my back to the wall with no tablecloth and in full view of the rest of the seating area. We were early for lunch and the only table seated and while we waited for our order she leaned forward to whisper to me from across the table that I should get myself off in my pants and she’d lean over and swallow me right here. She moved to sit beside me as I stroked myself through my pocket while kissing her, and when I was about to cum I told her and she dove under the table. I pushed my tip out above my waistband and she latched onto it with her lips, sucking greedily as I pumped my cum into her mouth in this bar in the middle of the day. When she sat back up wiping her lips and smiling I told her how much I enjoyed that and that I was going to use her like that constantly from then on. She simply responded that she would swallow as much as I liked, wherever and whenever I liked.


      Remember that I was still military at this time, and rising in rank. My normal work day was ten to sixteen hours of giving directions and commands to men and women of all ahesand skill levels and getting “yes sir” as the response.


      Up to this point in my life I’d had maybe fifty blowjobs in total. I loved them; the control of towering over your lover, the act of submission in having them servicing you, the forbidden nature of using a woman’s mouth as a fuck toy and the acceptance, power and excitement of shooting my cum into a woman’s mouth to have her submit totally by first tasting then swallowing my semen. If asked I would have said oral was my favorite sex act; the issue was that not all of my previous lovers felt the same way!


      This girl, however, could not get enough. With her I was getting blown by an experienced woman with a libido as high as my own and the self confidence and desire that she watched porn for her own gratification, then turned around and applied everything she saw to our sex life. She would lock eyes with me as she did her best to get my full length down her throat and made herself gag; she’d push the tip of my cock against the inside of her cheek to show me the imprint of myself in her mouth; she regularly encouraged me to try new positions such as throat-swabbing with her head hanging off the edge of the bed or pinning the back of her head against a wall so she had nowhere to go as I brutally fucked her mouth. For the second time in my life I was getting head and pussy on demand and this time we lived together. She was being filled three times a day and at least two of those had her swallowing. After a few months she told me that she had done the math and figured she had by that point swallowed more than a gallon of my semen. I responded by grabbing hold of the back of her neck and giving her more.


      The sex was fantastic. We were both fit, flexible, intensely attracted to one another and bordering on nymphomania. She was also the first woman I had ever met who was completely at ease with her own body. Where others had turned off the lights when getting undressed or rushed under the sheets, she would push me onto my back on the bed and stand above me swaying, stretching and spreading herself before lowering to ride my face or lap. She brought up photographing and videoing ourselves which I had only done with one or two other girls and now found I had a massive inclination towards. I had taken a few photos with each girlfriend, in fact aiming to always get at least the same photo of them tied down and blindfolded, but this was another level. More often than not we’d video ourselves to watch and screw to later. Her favorite thing was riding me while she watched previous video of me taking her from behind or pounding her mouth. She got off on seeing herself being used and I loved doing the using.


      After we broke up and she moved out we stayed friends, using each other for booty calls for a time and then stating openly to one another that we had to stop sleeping together if we ever wanted to find other people. We kept hanging out as platonic friends and maybe a month later she came over during a cold winter day just feeling bored and looking for something to do. I told her I had an idea for an art project she could help with and I had her undress and lay on the kitchen floor while I got together a bowl of hot water and rolls of plaster to cut into strips. I began making a plaster cast of her torso, which if you’ve never used plaster involves first coating the skin with vasaline to keep the plaster from adhering to hair, then wetting down a stiff piece of plaster-soaked fabric like cheesecloth and applying it to the skin by laying it flat and running your hands over it to spread the plaster evenly. This is repeated strip after strip, piece by piece to cover the area of interest and then has to dry, overall a slow, controlled and deliberate activity. I’d invented a type of game every bdsm convert would recognize, one in which my sub had to stay still while I ran my hands slowly over every inch of her naked body and played with anticipation and sensation more than any act of penetration or climax. I’d recommend this project to anyone who enjoys a long deliberate buildup!


      She was going wild and I was practicing a kind of self-restraint I hadn’t experienced before in seeing and touching every curve of her without letting it lead anywhere. Once she was covered from neck to groin and down both thighs, I told her I wanted to be sure to get as much detail as possible and I began on her crotch. Reapplying vasaline and working it slowly with my fingers between each labia, over and around her clit as she was held firmly in place by the quickly drying full body cast and by orders that moving would ruin the whole project, she panted and squirmed in place as I tormented her with my fingers. Then I applied warm, wet strips of plastered cloth to her, molding each carefully to show the shape of her as clearly as I was seeing from the inches away where I was working.


      When I finally finished and she was completely covered she asked me breathlessly “what next?” I’m not certain she had climaxed but I know she was kept on edge for almost the entire time and was flushed with heat and endorphins from the experience. I told her she had to stay in place until the plaster dried, maybe another twenty minutes, then calmly proceeded to take my pants and boxers off, moved myself to kneel next to her head and stroked myself off to cum across her face as she lay helpless below me laughing and playfully begging me to stop. When I finished I used my fingers to scoop my warm cum from her cheeks, the bridge of her nose and forehead and feed it to her. By the time I had her mostly clean I was hard again and she received another face painting while still unable to move. This time I leaned over her to push my spent cock into her mouth and used her to clean myself off, then got up and left her laying on the floor, secured in a neck to knee plaster cast with the taste of me on her tongue and her face covered in cum while I dressed and cleaned up around her.


      I kept the cast of her body for almost a year afterwards and we both commented repeatedly while we still talked about how much we enjoyed that last game. She requested as only fair that she come over one day to help me cast a ‘clone-a-Willy’ and another day we met for lunch, went back to my place and made her a perfect likeness of my cock to keep and play with. She earned it, helping to keep me fully erect while the mold set (not the easiest thing as it involves having your dick encased in cold gluey latex) by first sucking my balls one at a time until I was hard, then dropping her pants and panties and getting on the counter in front of me to put on a show and finger herself while I leaned forward and watched from six inches away. We got a perfect casting of my member and she happily took it home. Maybe we weren’t great at staying platonic. Last I heard the first night with her next boyfriend she had to keep herself from laughing as he used the dildo we’d made on her and told her how surprisingly lifelike it looked. The clone-a-Willy kits will capture every bump and vein, FYI.


      I met my wife a little while after that, and I fell hard. I don’t know how true love strikes anyone else, I only know that for me it was and still is a beautifully balanced and overwhelming combination of simultaneously wanting to give this person everything the world has to offer and protect them from all harm, while feeling not a moment pass by that I don’t want to be making her scream in ecstasy as I fuck her brains out. She brought me happiness and calm when almost all I’d ever known was despair and self loathing. I married her in my mid twenties and have now been with her longer than the entire span of my sexual life prior to her put together. Now our bed always has straps with wrist and ankle cuffs waiting under the mattress, and a bench at the foot of the bed is full of vibrators, plugs, collars and tails. We play and experiment, laugh and grow together, have fantastic sex more days than not and she’s taking a mouthful almost every day. But that’s another story…

    • #61847

      <p style=”text-align: left;”>This was a fascinating read. Thank you for sharing…VL</p>

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