How To Know What The Next Point Is

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    • #48091
      K’s Lady

      I have been involved with someone for quite a few years now. We met, became friends, and learned that we were both attracted to one another. We are both married, but our partners see others as well. All is happy and fine … no issues there!

      After 15 or so year of just casual sex and back and forth banter, we have opened up to more Dom/Sub interaction when we are together. I see him a few times a month, but we talk every day. And our conversations are wide open — we discuss what we may want to try, things we have done, limits, just general chatting, etc. Our relationship is in a really good place.

      My question is how do you know when it’s time to find that next level? We started out with mild spanking which was my first time, and he didn’t want to get too fast to soon there, which was fine! I carried bruises (which I knew I would) for about a week – but loved it! It gave me a sense of compassion and trust. Like I knew I had someone that was going to leave marks, but it not be more than I could take. Since that point, we have used a smaller style whip and paddle. Both of which have left small bruises, but nothing like that first time from just a good ole hand spanking.

      I know he wants to be effective, but gentle to the point that he doesn’t go overboard with me. But I desire the pain/hurt/sting, however you want to look at it. Much more now than I thought I’d be able to handle. How do I communicate that without seeming too eager to get it all at once?

      I never knew I’d crave more this fast, but I do. And I know he’d never hurt me. But I’d like more. I just don’t know how to tell him that.

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