- This topic has 2 replies, 3 voices, and was last updated 2 years, 9 months ago by
Curveycatsub.
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- 19/09/2019 at 4:50 pm #7266
NewD
ParticipantI’m definitely dominant and my wife has many submissive qualities, and responds well whenever I am more dominant in our relationship (getting frustrated and upset when I am not as dominant). I feel like getting more fully and formally into the D/s lifestyle would work well for both of us. However, she is also very vanilla and has emotional hangups about D/s stuff. I’m wondering what the best way to establish even a mild form of a D/s relationship, or ease my wife into D/s sexplay, would be. How do you deal with reluctance and objections, when you know that deep down your wife really wants to be more submissive, but feels like she shouldn’t be?
- 19/09/2019 at 9:20 pm #7267
HisLordship (Founder)
KeymasterHi NewD.
I think my first observations that your wife is very vanilla and has emotional hang-ups makes me think that maybe D/s is more for you than her. You have stated that your wife wants to be submissive deep down and feels she shouldn’t be. On face value I would that is some contradiction here.
As you are at the discussion stage I think it is important to try and work out what is in it for her regarding a D/s dynamic. Having your own opinion is important, however, D/s relationships are about two people essentially and therefore dual input is required. I should also add that your dominance over your wife will be given by her and not taken by you; your role will be to manage that submission she gives through your effective dominance. A sub only really gives over power when she feels safe and can trust her partner. That takes time, and a lot of communication. Just be 100% sure it what you both want to try!
- 25/10/2019 at 9:34 pm #7351
Curveycatsub
ParticipantYou are not alone….I hear this a lot
I am a trama/PTSD survivor. You can have a DsMarriage Happily Ever After
Baby steps…tons of communication we found was the key. Hard LIMITS that we set can NEVER be pushed. EX: I will NEVER be tied down to a bed !
mmm Ds hang ups like ? Sexual hang up … again many Woman deal with this one too. I have found lots of the time it is based on a Reason, event….Or just plain old insecure of herself in the bedroom.
Ds is so MUCH more than whips, chains ,collars i hope you both will take to time to crate your Own Flavors of you Ds Marriage
Best Wishes,
Curvey^^
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