Tagged: #starting #reluctance
19/09/2019 at 4:50 pm #7266NewDParticipant
I’m definitely dominant and my wife has many submissive qualities, and responds well whenever I am more dominant in our relationship (getting frustrated and upset when I am not as dominant). I feel like getting more fully and formally into the D/s lifestyle would work well for both of us. However, she is also very vanilla and has emotional hangups about D/s stuff. I’m wondering what the best way to establish even a mild form of a D/s relationship, or ease my wife into D/s sexplay, would be. How do you deal with reluctance and objections, when you know that deep down your wife really wants to be more submissive, but feels like she shouldn’t be?
19/09/2019 at 9:20 pm #7267HisLordshipKeymaster
I think my first observations that your wife is very vanilla and has emotional hang-ups makes me think that maybe D/s is more for you than her. You have stated that your wife wants to be submissive deep down and feels she shouldn’t be. On face value I would that is some contradiction here.
As you are at the discussion stage I think it is important to try and work out what is in it for her regarding a D/s dynamic. Having your own opinion is important, however, D/s relationships are about two people essentially and therefore dual input is required. I should also add that your dominance over your wife will be given by her and not taken by you; your role will be to manage that submission she gives through your effective dominance. A sub only really gives over power when she feels safe and can trust her partner. That takes time, and a lot of communication. Just be 100% sure it what you both want to try!
25/10/2019 at 9:34 pm #7351CurveycatsubParticipant
You are not alone….I hear this a lot
I am a trama/PTSD survivor. You can have a DsMarriage Happily Ever After
Baby steps…tons of communication we found was the key. Hard LIMITS that we set can NEVER be pushed. EX: I will NEVER be tied down to a bed !
mmm Ds hang ups like ? Sexual hang up … again many Woman deal with this one too. I have found lots of the time it is based on a Reason, event….Or just plain old insecure of herself in the bedroom.
Ds is so MUCH more than whips, chains ,collars i hope you both will take to time to crate your Own Flavors of you Ds Marriage
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