[NewDParticipant]

I’m definitely dominant and my wife has many submissive qualities, and responds well whenever I am more dominant in our relationship (getting frustrated and upset when I am not as dominant). I feel like getting more fully and formally into the D/s lifestyle would work well for both of us. However, she is also very vanilla and has emotional hangups about D/s stuff. I’m wondering what the best way to establish even a mild form of a D/s relationship, or ease my wife into D/s sexplay, would be. How do you deal with reluctance and objections, when you know that deep down your wife really wants to be more submissive, but feels like she shouldn’t be?

[HisLordshipKeymaster]

Hi NewD.

I think my first observations that your wife is very vanilla and has emotional hang-ups makes me think that maybe D/s is more for you than her.  You have stated that your wife wants to be submissive deep down and feels she shouldn’t be.  On face value I would that is some contradiction here.

As you are at the discussion stage I think it is important to try and work out what is in it for her regarding a D/s dynamic.  Having your own opinion is important, however, D/s relationships are about two people essentially and therefore dual input is required.  I should also add that your dominance over your wife will be given by her and not taken by you; your role will be to manage that submission she gives through your effective dominance.  A sub only really gives over power when she feels safe and can trust her partner. That takes time, and a lot of communication.   Just be 100% sure it what you both want to try!

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