This topic contains 4 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by  Beth [MM] 1 month, 3 weeks ago.

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  • #5866

    HisWife
    Participant

    <p style=”text-align: left;”>Hello!</p>
    <p style=”text-align: left;”></p>
    <p style=”text-align: left;”>My Dom (my husband) and I both enjoy giving each other oral pleasure, but if there were No award given for most enthusiastic, it would go to him. He absolutely loves eating my pussy and sucking on my rather large clit. He’s a clot man and felt he struck gold when he discovered I had one.</p>
    <p style=”text-align: left;”>Fast forward through years of conditioning for me to enjoy receiving oral as well as learning to let go and cum from it, this man has been the only one to care and bring this out of me .The thing is, when he’s going down on me, our power dynamic goes gray. He wants me to lose control and give it to him. Fuck his face. I’ve played with trying to top for a moment. Without letting me go too far, he seems to enjoy it when I take control while he’s down there. All while he’s losing control.</p>
    <p style=”text-align: left;”>I am naturally submissive. It’s hard for me to let go and face fuck him and dominate him. He may be slightly switch (??)</p>
    <p style=”text-align: left;”>I am never sure how to get into the mindset easily. I switch to satisfy his desire and thirst. But I always feel awkward.</p>

  • #5867

    Beth [MM]
    Participant

    I am very submissive. Years ago my husband tried to get me to take control in the bedroom so I could get my needs met and it was very difficult for me. Since we’ve started D/s he’s ordered me to pleasure him with my body, to show myself off. Basically take control but at his command. It really helped my mindset.

    I wrote a blog post about it back in May — Submissive Topping, Dominant Bottoming with some links to similar blog posts and articles.

    I think communication is very important. I would suggest talking to your husband about this, the difficulties you are having. Maybe he could be more overtly dominant and commanding at the beginning before his mouth is full? Hopefully the two of you can come up with some ideas to help you. Good luck.

  • #5983

    HisLordship
    Keymaster

    From a Dominant’s perspective I can see how a submissive would feel less submissive by being asked to have some control, either by face fucking or even riding on top during penerative sex.  Beth touches on communication in her response to this post and she is right. If a Dom commands that the sub goes on top, or taken to the extreme,  is fucked analy with a strap-on, as long as the Dom maintains control through communication the dynamic should hold its balance.  Missy and I have discussed communication during play a number of times and whilst it is important, it can also be distracting if used ineffectively for that person’s individual needs. For example, some subs like to count the amount of time a paddle or hand hits them, others do not as it breaks their concentration. Horses for courses as they say!

  • #5985

    HisWife
    Participant

    Hello! I’ve been remiss in responding as I have not logged on to the site for a while. My apologies. I also apologize for all of the extra hypertext and characters that keep getting inserted into my posts! Thank you for your insight!

    I’ve been trying to learn to let go. Sometimes I recite mantras as he’s enjoying my body (“my body is for Daddy’s pleasure”, “give Daddy his pleasure”, “feed Daddy my clit, breasts, etc…” He loves that too. 😉 Sometimes it works to help me clear my mind and be fully present in the moment. Obviously, said clit, gets harder the more aroused I am and 5he more eased (and hungry) he is.

    I believe that doing my own exercises to release any reservations I have (mantras, warming myself up, getting “his” body ready for hi, etc) along with saying directly to him what I will do with my clitoris seems to get things going. He still maintains control, bur I always wonder if he’s putting on or likes that he can control my offer to him (the intensity).

  • #6007

    Beth [MM]
    Participant

    It’s awesome that you found a way that would work for you.

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