Tagged: sexual types
02/04/2019 at 5:20 am #6795Beth [MM]Participant
Miss Jaiya is a sex educator and has written a few books on the subject. She has come up with 5 sexual types, or erotic blueprints, that seem to be the sexual equivalent to the 5 Love Languages. I wish she had written a book on her Erotic Blueprint that I could share with you but she wants people to take her seminar instead. This is what I have learned from the various emails that have been sent out from her site. It was interesting enough that I wanted to share.
You love tease, anticipation and space. Your sexuality can be mysterious, magical and sometimes completely misunderstood. You may have the erotic superpower of incredible sensitivity. You may be multi-orgasmic, able to experience full bodied and even out of body orgasmic bliss. You desire transcendent sexual experience and spiritual connection through intimacy. You’re turned on by anticipation, tease, space and energy play. You might have already dabbled in sexual practices such as Tantra and Taoist practices to explore your energetic side.
You may have struggled in your intimate encounters to feel truly seen, felt and heard. It’s difficult for you to feel the trust, safety and presence you require for deep connection. You need to feel that your lover honors the sacredness of making love. You want to be vulnerable, so you can open to deep intimacy and erotic expansion. You feel like you’ve never truly had your needs met, never had your boundaries honored. You fear hurting your lover if you speak up, thus overriding your own boundaries and building resentment in your body. You’ve hidden pieces of your orgasmic expression, because they’re often misunderstood and you fear judgement. And you’ve held back from traveling in orgasmic delight, because you don’t want to be “weird” or “woo woo”.
- Positive aspects of the Energetic Type: you are very sensitive and intuitive, you may be able to orgasm without even being touched, you value love and emotional connection, orgasm doesn’t necessarily drive your sexuality, you love the ride; indulging in massage, cuddling, and riding on extended waves of pleasure.
- Shadow aspects: your orgasm can short circuit if touch isn’t timed right, you may not be able to concentrate on pleasure if something seems off with a partner, you can get hierarchical – “my way is better or more enlightened than yours”.
You bring the beauty of the senses to sexuality. You live in a rich world of sensuality – sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste. You have an aesthetic for beauty and creation of sensual space. You melt when the environment is rich with just the right textures, colors and smells. The tastes and aromas of delicious foods can create an orgasmic experience for you. You’re turned on by relaxation, comfort and all of your senses being pleased. When in your body, you have intense body awareness. Orgasm could come from eating or smelling or touching something amazing (especially if you also have elements of the Energetic in your Blueprint). The more relaxed you feel, the more your body can surrender; the more you open to connection and deeply satisfying intimacy.
You may have a hard time getting out of your head and into your body. You can seem incredibly picky and easily thrown off by sounds, smells, messy environments. You may worry a lot and project things that are absolutely not true like “I’m taking too long to have an orgasm,” “He must be so bored.”
You’re fed by toggles – things that help you shift from daily life to a sexual life – this might mean massages, hot baths, cleaning up the bedroom, romantic dinners, working out or dancing. As a Sensual Type you probably need to relax to want to have sex. You may even be totally sexually satisfied with massage, cuddling and sensual play.
- Positive aspects of the Sensual: you live in a rich world of sensuality – sight, sound, touch, smell, and taste, when you’re in your body you have intense body awareness, you have an aesthetic for beauty and the creation of a sensual space, orgasm could come from eating or smelling or touching something amazing.
- Shadow aspects: you may have a hard time getting out of your head and into your body; you may be incredibly picky and easily thrown off – if the touch is too hard or too soft, the music’s too loud, you don’t like your lover’s smell or the room’s a mess, you just can’t drop in; orgasm may seem elusive, almost there and then it goes away again. This type, in it’s shadow, is the most likely to have performance anxiety, feeling pressure can send them in a downward spin.
You love sex. Sexual Types are turned on by simplicity and straightforward sex. You’re aroused by nudity, penetration, and sexual visuals of arousal. You love the body and all the pleasurable things it can do. You bring physical pleasure and the sexy to sex. You are fun to play with because you can have so much joy and unashamed pleasure in bed. You can go from zero to 60 very quickly, you are easy to arouse and usually eager to go. You really enjoy getting to the orgasm and climax of sexual play. Your love of sex, orgasms and genitals (all things sexual really) and being able to indulge in them makes everything in life feel just right. It helps you to relax, to feel alive and feel loved.
You feel like you’ve never truly had your needs met. You crave lots of sex and your partner(s) may not be able to match your level of libido. You’ve hidden pieces of your orgasmic expression, because they’re often misunderstood and you fear judgement. You may get too focused on the end goal (climax, orgasm, penetration) and therefore miss the journey. You might feel upset if an orgasm/erection/wetness (and other turn on) doesn’t happen for everyone involved and therefore feel like you failed. Most Sexuals have a limited definition of what sex is (it’s stimulating the genitals, right?). If there isn’t enough frequency of sex, you can feel like the rest of life just isn’t as amazing as it could be, sex makes everything better. Shame can sometimes emerge for you, halting true ownership of who you are as a sexual – especially if you are a female Sexual. Your partner may be starving in their Erotic Blueprint, frustrated and wanting more and what they desire feels complicated and “boring” to you. When un-resourced you may be frustrated or even bored by a partner’s desire for long sessions of foreplay or wanting to try things that seem complex. “Why do we have to do all that stuff? Let’s just get to it,” you may think.
- Positive aspects of the Sexual: you love sex, orgasms and genitals, you’re easy to arouse – you can go from zero to 60 very quickly, you’re fun to play with, sex is your way to relax and relieve stress.
- Shadow aspects: you may get too focused on the end goal and therefore miss the journey, you may feel upset if an orgasm doesn’t happen for everyone involved, sometimes you can be self-focused and clueless to what your lover wants or needs, you might have a limited definition of what sex is, leaving out the other Blueprints, your type may be at risk for patterns that require porn or “porn” type sex.
You’re turned on by all of your senses being ignited! You can reach heights of turn-on and peak orgasmic states from playing simply in the mind (fantasy, power dynamic, sexual games). You’re turned on by what’s taboo for you: that could be sex out of missionary position or it could mean whips and chains. You are able to access non-ordinary states of consciousness by going deep in surrender, control or intense sensations. You tend to be super sexually creative, loving power play and/or physically intense engagement. There are two different primary routes to turn on for kinkies, and you probably prefer one over the other: Psychological Kinky and Sensation Based Kinky. If your turn on is psychological kink you like game play, power dynamics, intense naughty talk. If it’s sensation based you love to give or receive intense sensation, constraint, sensory overwhelm. Some kinkies love both styles. You have an opportunity to uncover a rich and wildly abundant world of play and pleasures. You can train or be trained to orgasm on demand. Intense sensation or pain can become exquisitely pleasurable for you. You may find deep healing playing within the container of Kink.
You may feel like you’ve never truly had your needs met. You might have feelings of deep shame, guilt or judgement about your turn-ons and desires in the “taboo” realm. You may crave ravishment or express strong dominance, and your partner(s) can’t hold the energy you need to fully let go. Maybe you fear what it might mean if you were to indulge in your desires and you hide pieces of your orgasmic expression because they’re often misunderstood and you fear judgement. Hiding or fear of getting “found out” creates disconnection and even deeper neurosis about your turn-ons. A hidden turn-on can become your only path to orgasm/arousal which can be challenging when you want to find many pathways and have a partner who loves variety. You can put yourself in danger if not properly educated on the safety aspects of playing in the edgier aspects of the Kinky realm
- Positive aspects of the Kinky: you are very creative, with a large sexual vocabulary; when shame is absent, you are very good at sexual communication; you’re easy to turn on when the right buttons are pushed; taboo and edge play are erotically arousing for you.
- Shadow Aspects: a specific fantasy or fetish can become your only route to turn-on, you may hide your Kinky desires and have deep shame
As a Shape-Shifter Type you’re the most sophisticated of all the blueprints. You are easily fluent in all of the Erotic Blueprint Types which makes you able to be an extraordinary lover. You’re turned on by the whole erotic palette. You have a HUGE capacity to be in pleasure, to receive lots of it for hours upon hours and to give lots of it too. You can receive incredible amounts of stimulation and you can give your lover(s) extraordinary experiences. You are never boring and ever changing, keeping lots of variety and creativity in relationships. You are able to become a fantasy lover for others. Sex can be a spiritual, transcendent experience. You love beautiful environments. You’re turned on by erotic imagery. And you can get a real turn on from taboo, edgy, kinky play with your lover. Because you can access all of the Erotic Blueprint Types you can access all of their superpowers and orgasmic possibilities.
It’s possible you may feel erotically hungry, like you are always feeding your lover(s), but being shortchanged yourself. You are often starving in your sexuality because you have the ability to shift to please everyone else, but you are not fed in all the erotic languages like you need to be. You tend to judge yourself as needy or “too much” or too complex, but what’s true is that you are erotically sophisticated. Regarding compatibility, you are great for all types, but if a partner speaks only one language, you can get bored easily and go unconscious seeking novelty or variety elsewhere. If you don’t learn what you need and ask for it, you can become chronically dissatisfied and build resentment. Your partner may feel they can’t never arouse you correctly because what arouses you changes constantly. This can leave you feeling like you’ve never truly had your needs met. Your partner(s) may not be able to match your level of sexual sophistication and desire. You may have hidden pieces of your orgasmic expression, because they’re often misunderstood and you fear judgement. As a shapeshifter, you really need to learn how to communicate your desires to a lover.
- Positive aspects of the Shapeshifter Type: you may be fluent or at least interested in all of the core erotic types, you can be an extraordinary lover because you are multilingual, you love variety and creativity, you are never boring, due to endless play and creative pleasure.
- Shadow Aspects: you may never find your own sexuality or be fulfilled because you are always shifting to please someone else (because you know you can); because you are always pleasing your lover, you could be sexually starved; regarding compatibility, you are great for all types, but if a partner speaks only one language, you can get easily bored, you might look outside to get your needs met; sometimes instead of having the positive aspects of the Erotic Types™, you are stuck in the Shadow aspects of all of the types.
02/04/2019 at 5:27 am #6796Beth [MM]Participant
This has really helped me explain to MM my needs sexually as I’m a sensual/energetic with a bit of kinky and he is a sexual some kink.
The seminars are too expensive, at least for us, but I found the information in the emails helpful.
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