- 15/10/2018 at 10:35 pm #5976Missy (Founder)Keymaster
What are your thoughts on edge play and what types of play do you see as being at the edge of your limits?
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- 10/02/2019 at 1:11 pm #6588princessaliParticipant
Interesting topic considering that it is something that Sir and I have recently, very recently, discussed. I think that a lot of things can be considered “edge play” based on a person/couple’s hard and soft limits. Yet, the more deep you get into this lifestyle, the more (sometimes shocking) things you can find out about your partner.
I think that everyone here would consider asphyxiation to be edge play, and a rather extreme form of it. I will say that personally, in the beginning of my relationship with Sir, this would have been a major cause for concern. For years, it would have been such a hard limit that my brain would not even ponder it. That is not currently the case, but we have been in a relationship for a little over 20 years now. Now my brain will contemplate it (I still have not given a final answer to it due to the manner he recently brought up). We have dealt with issues concerning my neck, for many years he pretty much couldn’t really touch it, I couldn’t stand to wear a turtle neck or a choker necklace! We have, thankfully, gotten me past that issue and will “play” in minor degrees with that now, and it’s actually more fun than I thought it would be. His newest idea involves WATER. Uh oh. I have a personal issue there. I’m the type of person who CAN NOT stick her face under water, and have really only ever very willingly done so to save a small child (not my own) from drowning as I was the closest adult to the child at the time they went under water. My issues with not being able to put my face under water, what causes me to almost instantly panic (unless my adrenaline has taken over as was the case with the child) is the fact that before the age of 3, I almost drowned in a pool that belonged to one of my grandmothers. She was outside with me, and in the pool with me, at the time it happened. But being a curious, small child, I dumped myself out of the float I was sitting in and was too young to know how to swim. This is now a form of edge play that is intriguing my Dom.
Once in our relationship, I consented to do something that was a very hard limit for me. I have a personal needle phobia, and a very bad one. Lab procedures for medical reasons, vaccinations, even checking my blood sugar when necessary tends to cause some serious anxiety attacks for me. It is so bad that when my sugar absolutely HAS to be checked, someone else has to hit the button on the clicker! With that being said, for several years (earlier in our relationship) my Dom was a tattoo artist. He’s covered in ink! He had friends in the profession that made a bet with me that I too would have a tattoo within 2 years of us getting married. I told all of them that they had absolutely lost their minds! Then one weekend my husband brought home his tackle box of tattoo equipment, inks, tubes, needles…the whole nine yards. I honestly did not think much of it. It was normal for him to do this when his guns needed fixing…motor replaced, tweeking of the mechanisms, etc. We had our youngest son by this point, he was under 6 months old, and I had recently stopped nursing. Sir and I were also at a point in our relationship where we were “playing” with aspects of this lifestyle. We were having an absolutely great night, both of our boys had been asleep for hours, and we were having what I now call “adult playtime”. He has always had a “thing” for making me squirm, lol, even before aspects of this lifestyle entered our relationship. Well, he knew (has always known) about my needle phobia…I can (and have) literally passed out from things connected to needles. But that night, while handcuffed to our headboard, he asked me “can I tattoo you?”. My first response was “what?”. He laughed and then said, “I’m serious. Do you actually trust me enough to let me give you a small tattoo?” Right… Well, he knew how to get me to say “yes”, he knew very well how to get me to say “yes”, and he did! I agreed!! I now have a 4 letter tattoo over a corner of my C-section scar (my stipulation was that it had to be somewhere that it would stay hidden). BUT, he decided to trail the bottom of one letter (a y) under the other letters, almost like underlining which caused the bottom of the tattoo to go a bit below what would be considered my hair line! I did a wee bit more than squirm with that part of that tattoo!! But where he chose to put it, most of the tattoo just tickled which made it hard for me to stay still, and he had a blast watching me squirm so much! And, this occurred before we celebrated our 2 year anniversary, thus his friends won the bet (but they still don’t know). It has been brought up again over the years, but it has remained a “no”. It’s a limit that I just won’t give into again. Thankfully now it is less of an issue because he is no longer a tattoo artist after having the bones of his right hand shattered a few years ago.
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