13/05/2019 at 11:56 am #6856
I think rules are important in D/S relationship and, in my view, rules need to be simple and applied consistently. Furthermore, if you are in a committed relationship in a busy household (i.e. children, both working full time), in my experience there is not much mental space for many rules. We only have a handful of rules.
Some rules, however, seem to be have a stronger effect on the subs’ psyche. I, as a Dom, think long and hard before coming up with a new rule. I would like to share two of my own practice as a way of encouraging others:
- When she is bed, she always need to be naked from the waist down. The logic is: she always needs to be sexually available to me.
Every night she needs to turn over the bed before I go to sleep. The logic is: she needs to show respect and servitude.
14/05/2019 at 4:00 am #6858Sir_to_her_captive_eyesParticipant
Every night she needs to turn over the bed before I go to sleep.
Do you mean the mattress? And how heavy is it?
14/05/2019 at 8:28 am #6859
Apologies, I did not express myself correctly. I meant to say: turn down the bed linen of the bed as in the turndown hotel service.
17/05/2019 at 2:05 am #6863Sir_to_her_captive_eyesParticipant
Me and my girl had a chat about this very thread yesterday and I asked if she thought I imposed any rules or whether she just did what she thought was expected of her and got it right by coincidence!
“Red, you don’t like me wearing red clothes” And she’s correct, I don’t mind nail varnish or lipstick but I don’t like red clothing and red underwear is a complete no no.
20/05/2019 at 8:56 am #6870
I like the explicitness of rules.
It is a way of asserting authority. It also means that if they are broken, there are consequences.
20/05/2019 at 11:08 am #6871
Why don’t you try to implement a simple rule? We started out slowly…now we try to keep it quite simple by adding twists. Recently, we are exploring twists outside the bedroom..because. after 3 years, I deemed she made enough progress in the bedroom.
There is an interesting post on here about dominance. https://submissy.com/2019/05/14/why-dominance-turns-me-on/
From my perspective, I can corroborate the post….pros, for us, are just that props. But manipulating the illusion of Dominance works for us. It is a subtle art.
01/06/2019 at 7:06 am #6939MirjamParticipant
I think in our relationship de simplest one is dont say, ‘so’. Example, he: the fish didnt have their food yet. Me: so?
I get hit if i do that. It keeps my attitude in check.
For myself always be respectfull but speak up my mind but thats like a rule i made for myself
- This reply was modified 6 months, 1 week ago by Mirjam.
30/07/2019 at 4:23 pm #7069CurveycatsubParticipant
This sub Loves Loves this post/share ….
turn Down the bed for her Sir & His/submissive to climb,melt into. We are now MarriedDs 5+ This was one of My first Rules/jobs. Our bed..bedroom is to Always be kept clean, in order Ready to go.
I will also share…Each morning this simple task I preform reminds me I choose to submit, serving bring me Joy ! I want things to be Nice for my Sir. I too enjoy the fruits of my labor
22/09/2019 at 11:24 pm #7279SifodeeyasParticipant
I have a very simple rule that I instituted a few years ago. It’s two related rules really.
- When she enters the house her shoes (and socks if she is wearing them) come off at the door.
This rule is enforced by a security camera that is covering the front door from inside the house. This camera was originally installed to monitor who was coming and going (making sure the kids got off to school and made it home safely when we were at work). It is motion activated and sends alerts to our phones. I’ll check the footage when I’m not home to make sure she isn’t just slipping off her shoes and keeping her socks on when she enters the house.
- Her feet must be bare inside the house at all times. We live in the northeastern US and in the winter it gets pretty cold here. It’s not always practical/comfortable for her to be barefoot. She can request a waiver and I will allow socks or slippers to be worn inside. However she MUST be barefoot in bed.
She initially felt like these rules were too simple. After all, we were already in the habit of removing our shoes at the front door to keep the floors clean. In the warmer months she would simply kick off her sandals and be done. After work (she works in a hospital) slip off the shoes, rip off the socks, and done. She understood from the beginning that failing to meet these standards would result in the punishment of my choosing.
One day she came home from work with two hands full of groceries. She slipped off her shoes and walked to the kitchen. I was home and noticed that she failed to take off her socks. Her response, “My hands are full, I’ll take them off in a minute.” Another time she walked in the front door with her sister. She took off her shoes but left her socks on. I later asked her why she violated the rules? “My sister was with me and we were heading out right away. I wasn’t going to take off my socks just to put them back on. How would I explain that?”
Each violation results in a punishment. She may be forced to perform a task barefoot. Or she could be placed in tight restraints for periods up to an hour, under constant observation.
At this point it has become a reflex. She doesn’t even think about it. She can slip of her work shoes and socks in a matter of seconds without using her hands.
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