Baby Steps as Sub

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    • #7902
      NPG (Cam)

      I’ve always known I wanted to please my partner but this is my first step into wanting to learn more about this lifestyle. Let alone if I would even make a good sub since i’m starting out with a lot of mental probs. 🙁 i’m with someone now but I know this isn’t something he would be interested in since he doesn’t portray himself as a Dom nor has the mentality of one.

    • #7903
      Sweet (MrH)

      Hi There,

      There are a few blogs I would recommend you read if you are interested in learning more.  Firstly there is submissy’s site, she is the hostess of the SafeworD/s Club and you will learn a lot from there.  Fetlife is another site with a plethora of information.  And, my own blog tells you about how I became a submissive wife.

      I have mental health challenges too although depending on what they are you may want to go to DeviantSuccubus’ site as she has many issues that she deals with and maintains a submissive lifestyle too.

      I would caution you about thinking that there is a set of prerequisites in order to be a submissive.  Anyone who tells you they can ‘train you’ or that you are ‘not a real submissive’ is not good for you.  There are a lot of wannabe doms out there who are just dickheads plain and simple, and unfortunately some that are extremely abusive.  So do be careful how much you share.

      You say your current partner isn’t dominant material.  Don’t get hung up on what you imagine to be a dominant.  Anyone who met my husband would not think the is a dominant either, but within our dynamic, once I let him take charge, he did.

      Take things slowly, and start by talking.

      I showed MrH a scene from 50 shades and said I thought I would like it if he did that to me.  That night in bed he put my arms out to the sides, spread my legs (i looked like a starfish) and told me not to move.  That is where it began.  No rope, nothing tied, just two people willing to try something different.

      Anyway, there are two chats a week here Sundays and Tuesdays at 8pm GMT.  There are always a few people online for these chats and you will be able to ask questions and so on.

      Take care of yourself, and I hope this information is helpful and I see you at one of the chats. I can also be found on twitter if you want to chat.

      Sweetgirl x



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