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    • #61355

      Hello to all.

      I’m Amber, a married white woman in the American Midwest. My reason for joining this site, is to learn more about D/s, and about myself.

      I’ve always, ALWAYS had a fascination with being tied up. I think it started in grade school, watching boys play sports and understanding we had a ‘lighter’ version of them. They were stronger than us. Comic books and old TV shows had the hero’s love interest getting kidnapped, bound and gagged, and needing, well, a hero.

      Sometimes games were played in middle school that at least suggested bondage. And then in high school….

      In college I met my future husband. I introduced him to bondage, and he brought up taking turns being tied up. I never really considered being the one doing the tying, but I went along with it. And it was fun, but not in a dominant way. It was just having romantic fun with the hubby.

      We also, at his suggestion, began exploring BDSM. Very slowly. And over the past few years we’ve gotten more involve with it.

      But then, about a couple years ago, he began to lose interest in the DSM of BDSM.  He still loves tying me up, and loves being tied himself. But that’s really the extent of his interest in this kind of activity.

      And me? I’m really, REALLY missing having him get rough with me. I SO want to be dominated! And I really, REALLY am not enjoying tying him at all.

      We’re trying to work on this, but it’s really been an uphill battle. I’m hoping to get some advice here, and really, just to learn.

      If anyone wants to message me, I’d be glad to talk to you 🙂


    • #61379

      Hello, and welcome, amber.

      May I suggest seeing if your husband will join the site?



    • #61393
      Missy (Founder)

      Hi Amber,

      I am wondering how discussion with your partner about this has gone. Do you know why his interest has gone? And are there some parts which he would remain more interested in than others? I also wondered about your relationship in general. Was the D/s part of your daily life and other areas of your marriage or was it more about the in the bedroom stuff? Sorry to ask more questions than give answers.

      missy 🙂

    • #61394

      Hi missy!

      He says he never really was “into” dominating me (except for tying me), and it was just something he was experimenting with during those early days of BDSM. He didn’t mind it, until a couple years ago when it just seemed “silly” to him (his word), since I, as an adult, could always just refuse whatever he wanted.

      D/s was pretty much restricted to the bedroom, though we sometimes let it sneak out into other parts of our life. It really doesn’t now, and I miss it.

      Like I said, he’s still interested in tying me up, but also loves being tied up himself. I know I’m going to sound hypocritical, but tying him lost it’s appeal for me long ago. I try not to complain, since I want to make him happy, and he doesn’t have any interest in being dominated. so I’m not going to refuse him.

      Questions are good, no apology necessary 🙂


    • #61395
      Missy (Founder)

      That sounds really hard and I am so sorry that he is not open to trying it more with you. Hopefully you can learn more about D/s as you say and find some way to create an outlet for your feelings. And you never know what might happen I guess. It would be great to chat more to you if you are around at any of the chat times. missy x

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