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I’m fairly new but my first Dom was a bad experience for me. I did not join a community or group. What I thought he was doing was the right way, it truly wasn’t. I’ve learned with my Sir now is how special I am and how much I am loved. So my advice to anyone who is wanting to be apart of this wonderful community is…
- Join a group or website where you can seek information.
Always ask questions, no question is a wrong question. That goes asking your Dom or sub. And definitely ask others in your community.
Follow your gut feeling, if it doesn’t feel right it probably isn’t. And you can go back to #1. and #2.
Excellent advice rose. Questions should always be encouraged. A submissive should be allowed and encouraged to respectfully ask questions of her Dom as well as find a community where they can get support and friendship from other subs. It is always a warning sign, though not always proof of a bad relationship, when a Dom discourages his sub from finding companionship with other subs. And following your instincts is dead on. If it feels wrong, then don’t do it. Better to feel silly later than to be sorry.
- Honesty is the best policy. If you are not honest with your Dom, unpleasant things are bound to happen.
- As You wish, whatever You chose, etc. is not always the correct answer. If your Dom is asking your opinion, chances are he wants to know your preference.
- Rituals and ceremonies are very important. They help both of you get into the right mindset when it’s time to play, and outside of playtime they are reminders/reinforcers of your submissive status.
MyWisePuppet is correct on all three counts.
#2 can be seen as a subset of #1: be open as well as honest. It’s not a failure of service to express a preference if asked: it’s a lack of openness to leave me in the dark about your preferences.
Why does the Master care what the slave likes when the slave will do whatever the Master likes, regardless? Usually it’s becasue we want to know how to reward you.
And I’ll add to #3, your Master gets a nice “Dom Rush” when he sees or reads of your obedient compliance.
8^)
Use the carrot as well as the stick. It doesn’t leave pretty marks, but it does get pretty smiles.
Roleplay is underappreciated. You don’t need acting skills because you’re not trying to convince an audience: it’s more like a game where you’re both in on the secret. And now and then it’s good to let her blow off some steam with a situation where she can tell you what an evil cat fucker you are and not be punished.
A submissive is not a mindless sex robot following orders. She is a woman with unique thoughts, insights, and experiences, she has a mind, ideas, humor. I don’t want an obedient puppy in human form: I want a real woman. In chains.
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