Everyone will be different as a headspace is very personal and individual. This is how it is for me and how it works in our dynamic. I am certainly no expert.
I think the most important part of finding an alternative headspace is initially thinking about the space you want to be in and talking about it with your partner. I think it has to be something you are comfortable with to a certain degree and something you can relate to. I say to a certain degree as sometimes it’s nice to push limits, when you feel ready. In the beginning a lot of things that use a headspace were hard limits for me.
I will use Petplay as an example. For me Puppy, my dog persona (very original name I know!) is something I can identify with. Dogs are on the most part loyal and loving. These are attributes I would say I possess so before even beginning play I am already partly in the right head because it’s just bits of me and my personality. Other parts of my personality are used as well, I’m very playful and cheeky so Puppy gives me the chance to explore these parts of me in ways that I wouldn’t/don’t in day to day life. Being a submissive means that I am to ultimately please my Master PurpleSole, so I can’t be cheeky all the time as it would grow old for him very quickly, which I don’t want. With Puppy I can be more playful and slightly defiant as it’s an expected part of the play. Puppy has toys and will occasionally play fetch, but only when she wants to. She usually prefers pushing a ball in her water bowl and dropping it in Master’s lap. When we began to explore Petplay I did a lot of research, which mostly came back with things that weren’t so relevant for us and our D/s dynamic. One thing that seemed to stand out though was there are no set rules, you can make it whatever you want. Be as immersed as you feel comfortable being.
Achieving the headspace can be done in so many different ways, or even a combination. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly as I find some headspaces are more fluid but others I require more preparation. Again, I will use Puppy as an example. PS and I will decide beforehand that we are going to do Petplay for an evening. So we have a set ritual of me getting ready by putting on various accessories including Puppy’s tail. Whilst I am preparing myself PS will get out items for play like toys, bowl, brush etc. He will also set the atmosphere by preparing the room, fire on (Puppy is mostly naked so susceptible to cold) and puts a blanket down (softens the floor a bit). Then I will kneel for PS and he will switch my day collar to Puppy’s collar. This for me is where my headspace completely changes, it’s PS voice starting the play.
I think, like with most play that talking and aftercare are extremely important. At the end of the day you are taking yourself away, or at least partly, and putting yourself in a different head which can be difficult to switch back from. It’s a complete shift that may have adverse effects, it did for me in the beginning. Talking about what happened and your feelings can help you to both gain further understanding and also enjoyment from the play. Talking will also help you both to understand each others expectations as to what you want to achieve and the direction you would like play to go in. Trusting each other I find very important, you need to be able to feel safe and comfortable while playing as this will help in enabling you to find the headspace and enjoy.
Of course I can’t leave it there, sex has to be mentioned! While doing my research I found that a lot of people tend to play in a non sexual way in their alternate head spaces. For PS and I this is what we intended from the beginning but with most things it developed pretty quickly into something sexual. How ever you want to play is fine. No this does not mean PS is into beastiality. I am a grown-up human still and still have all my grown-up human parts, just with a pretty swishy tail.
Related posts: Puppy Play
see also She Wolf
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