There’s a certain comfortableness about edge play that draws me back to thinking about it; I guess that is part of the attraction. I wasn’t convinced that anything we could do (legally) would really push any limits, I mean what could we do that did that? First off, edge play is subjective, and a double edged sword. The subjectivity is obviously personal, however, the double edge sword is the risk element. Pushing boundaries is edgy because there’s a risk, otherwise why do it? Take bungy jumping for example, it’s a pretty simple process. You wear a thick rubber band around your feet, you stand on the lip of a very high drop, and that’s where the edge comes in. It’s not the band, it’s not the drop, it’s the personal feelings you are about to experience. Everyone is different.
Why double edged and not just subjective? I would argue it’s the outcome of the risk that is unknown. Every heard the phrase, ‘It seemed like a good idea at the time?’ I admit growing up with that, and was a common reflective term I may have used a few times. I suppose hindsight is a great thing, however, in a kink environment making a mistake has repercussions. But should that put you off edge play?
Communication and planning is all important. I do know that it’s easy to talk yourself out of good idea, and I’ve done that few times, and yet the communication was required. If you would like an example at this stage, let me tell you about Needle Play. We had discussed needle play, we had watched a few videos and even had the pleasure of watching someone with some skill do it for real. I admit that when the small starter kit arrived I was a little on edge. I’m not a stranger to needles having been jabbed a few times myself and even acquired a tattoo at some point. However, I was now he proud owner of a pack of needles that I was going to stick through my sub’s skin!
On the night in question I tried to sound as confident as I could and had unusually not tried this particular activity out on myself which would be the normal thing I do. Wearing latex gloves, alcohol wipes applied I unwrapped the needle and pulled it from the plastic sheath. It looked sharp and much thicker than I thought it would be. I put missy at ease and went for it, pushing the needle through the skin as instructed. She wiggled a little and said she was okay; I wasn’t convinced to be honest. My heart rate was up and so was hers, I could feel it through her back. Another 2 needles followed and then we stopped. The plan had run its course as this was just a taster session for both of us.
Was it edgy? I would say so, mainly due to the fact it ticked all the boxes for putting you outside your comfort zone. We discovered after talking about it that the whole needles thing would be better as part of a bigger scene and not just something to do. Maybe missy needed to be turned on more before hand so that she didn’t care as much. The concept was parked for another day.
I referred to ticking boxes earlier, and I didn’t mean it in such a matter-of-fact way. What I meant to say was that it met the personal needs of the individual to move them from one mind set to another, and I think it did that on this occasion. There are lots of forms of play that missy may get into one day, and I do think the planets have to be aligned for it work well. So for now we will star gaze and see what come our way to discuss, investigate and take that step outside of your mind.