when life gets in the way

When Life Gets in the Way – Tell Me About

I don’t own a blog, nor have much experience by the way of a D/s lifestyle, but I am able to relate at some level to the prompt suggested for Tell Me About this time – When Life Gets In The Way. Recently Hananoki and I established a D/s relationship in addition to our 10-year […]

Continue reading

Aftercare

More often that not I read, or see images depicting aftercare in D/s – Kinky play scenarios where the sub is wrapped up to help them come down from what has been most likely an emotional experience. For those of you who have played like this before, you will know the value of ensuring a […]

Continue reading
Dominance and submission online

Dominance and submission Online

This guest post is a collaborative post by Vixen Lee and Sub Mace. We are really grateful to them for working together to share their thoughts and experiences of Dominance and submission online. Are you Online and Fine in 2020? Submissives Vixen Lee and Sub Mace, living on two continents get to the ‘bottom’ of […]

Continue reading
Creating a D/s contract

Creating a D/s Contract

The first thing I want to say is that you don’t need a D/s contract. This site is not somewhere that we tout the one true way of D/s relationships so whenever I write an instructional piece I always shudder at the thought that someone might think that this is a how to guide. The […]

Continue reading
Intimacy

Intimacy

What is Intimacy? Intimacy is a feeling of knowing another person deeply and feeling deeply known by them. It is created over time and comes from a deep connection on a number of levels. There are different types of intimacy, including physical, emotional, experiential and intellectual. Often people assume that intimacy is about a sexual […]

Continue reading
journaling

Journaling

As a pastime, journaling seems it seems to have undergone a surge in popularity in recent years, with people turning to journals as a response to a busy and over-committed life where they need to take time out for themselves to reconnect and organise the many demands. It can be a helpful way to de-clutter […]

Continue reading
resets

Resets – what, why and how

What is a reset? I am not sure if resets are things which exist formally in D/s relationships or if they are something we have made up, but if it isn’t a thing then it should be because it is quite important. It was only when I was thinking about it for the chat we held […]

Continue reading

Discipline

I think most people understand the concept of discipline whereby training is designed to condition people or animals to behave in certain way. There is also the added element of punishment if the terms are not met. Despite being a little rebellious as a child, I sought the comfort of discipline that can be found […]

Continue reading

Are You Being Served?

The TellMeAbout prompt this time around is Service. Missy has written a very personal piece on the subject (here) and in it self is another way-marker for me to see where she stands on the subject, and also gives me some prompts for our relationship. It is not the first she has penned thoughts on […]

Continue reading

Respect

It takes a lot for me to respect you.  In someways, I almost have to feel you, like making a lasting impression that I can dip into for inspiration or direction.  There are only a few people that have done that to me, which in someways sounds derogatory to those people I really like, although […]

Continue reading
rituals

Rituals: the why the how and the what

Why we have rituals For most D/s couples, rituals are quite an important part of what they do. Although they are often the small things, an action, a word, a deed, they can help to keep the right mindset for both of you. They do this by reinforcing the power exchange and essentially highlighting the […]

Continue reading
Speed sign

Limits – when a NO becomes a YES

Limits!  I tend to think there is always a little bit of pressure placed on D/s couples to do what other people do.  I’m not suggesting that other couples apply the pressure, I think it is very much home-grown. ‘We don’t do what they do so are we really D/s?’ or ‘We have to be […]

Continue reading

Respect the Rules

Rules are pretty key to our relationship, although even without that I am a person who likes to have rules to follow. I suppose that is why a D/s marriage works so well for me as having rules and structure makes me feel safe. It makes sense of things and makes me feel as though […]

Continue reading

She’s Smarter Than the Average Bear!

Inspiration for a posts come from many sources, however, it is always good to read another person’s experiences in which you find reflections of your own life. WildWestAngel wrote that there are often times when her submission seems to be slipping away from her.  The skills required to excel in her day job embrace her […]

Continue reading

The Power Exchange

The power exchange that takes place in our D/s relationship is a key part of what keeps our dynamic alive, but it is not something which is easy to explain. I imagine that those in similar relationships can understand the significant part it plays, but for those who aren’t, or who are just starting out, […]

Continue reading