rituals

Rituals: the why the how and the what

Why we have rituals For most D/s couples, rituals are quite an important part of what they do. Although they are often the small things, an action, a word, a deed, they can help to keep the right mindset for both of you. They do this by reinforcing the power exchange and essentially highlighting the […]

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emotional needs

Meeting Emotional Needs and Daring Greatly

Well, this week love is in the air and with the approach of Valentines Day, romance is on the agenda. For many there is a focus on gifts, and on the sexy and spicy aspects of relationships, but without feeling supported on an emotional level, many of the grander gestures will fall flat. Being in […]

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Speed sign

Limits – when a NO becomes a YES

Limits!  I tend to think there is always a little bit of pressure placed on D/s couples to do what other people do.  I’m not suggesting that other couples apply the pressure, I think it is very much home-grown. ‘We don’t do what they do so are we really D/s?’ or ‘We have to be […]

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Respect the Rules

Rules are pretty key to our relationship, although even without that I am a person who likes to have rules to follow. I suppose that is why a D/s marriage works so well for me as having rules and structure makes me feel safe. It makes sense of things and makes me feel as though […]

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‘It aint what you do it’s the way that you do it.’

To quote Bananarama, “It aint what you do it’s the way that you do it, and that’s what gets results.” This is something that I think is important when you are thinking about your relationship, particularly if you are introducing D/s to an existing relationship or thinking about establishing or reviewing the rules and rituals […]

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Control Issues and Submission

I like to be in control. Well, that’s not entirely accurate – I hate to feel out of control. At some point in my life, I started controlling situations by anticipating other’s responses and preempting them. Basically, I could tell what someone was going to say/do and got ahead of them. I could nudge them […]

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She’s Smarter Than the Average Bear!

Inspiration for a posts come from many sources, however, it is always good to read another person’s experiences in which you find reflections of your own life. WildWestAngel wrote that there are often times when her submission seems to be slipping away from her.  The skills required to excel in her day job embrace her […]

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The Power Exchange

The power exchange that takes place in our D/s relationship is a key part of what keeps our dynamic alive, but it is not something which is easy to explain. I imagine that those in similar relationships can understand the significant part it plays, but for those who aren’t, or who are just starting out, […]

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