Brats

Brats – The Wild Submissives

Brats – The Wild submissives is a guest post by Deviant Succubus. Although not a member of The SWC, she is a regular contributor to Tell Me About… and we are delighted that she agreed to write this piece for us. 

What is a brat in BDSM and D/s?

Both within the kink community and the world outside of it, there are stereotypical ideas of what a submissive should be like: obedient, timid and with a strong urge to please the Dominant either in the bedroom or in a 24/7 lifestyle relationship. This concept of submissiveness is quite limiting. Submissives are individuals like everyone else. The needs, wants and personality of those who identify with the submissive role are different for everyone, and also very closely linked to the sort of connection the person has with their Dominant. And there is one group of submissives in particular that is very much excluded from the stereotypical concept of submissiveness: brats.

For a long time, brats were looked upon with suspicion. They were shunned at play parties and dungeon events. They were seen as disruptive, disrespectful and unwanted. Play with them seemed non-consensual to outsiders and they were described as being a bad representation of the idea of strict rules within BDSM and D/s connections. Luckily, things have changed.

What is a brat in the context of BDSM and D/s? A brat is a submissive that wants to play and needs to be pushed into submission. That might sound paradoxical but it isn’t. Just like in any other play, there is consent. The brat consents to what is going to happen, and agrees to being the submissive part. But they don’t want to give up control that easily: they want to fight for control, they want to make sure that the Dominant is worthy of their submission, and they see the fighting as foreplay.

There are many different types of brats. The one that is often portrayed in pornographic movies is the princess type. You can imagine someone who is spoiled, always seems to get their way and is not used to having their limits shown to them. There is also the ageplay type of brat, that is poking and playful. There is the witty brat who talks back and knows how to spark the dominant side in their partner. And there is the strong personality type of brat that knows how to fight back and refuses to give up control and power easily.

How does one play with a brat? Just like with any other play in BDSM and D/s connections, there is going to be negotiations, limits and consent.  Playing with a brat doesn’t involve protocol or meticulous planning. It is more spontaneous and reactive. It involves the fighting, the being forced into submission and the final act of submission. This is very important to note: a brat wants to submit. Brats are submissives. They just are just a wilder type of submissives.

Brat Tamers

The kind of Dominant who enjoys playing with brats is called a brat tamer. Brat tamers are often patient Dominants who don’t mind rough play and love forcing someone into submission. They derive pleasure from the fighting and the final act of submission. While they might have needs of obedience and respect, those needs are more flexible than in stricter Dominant types. A brat tamer needs to be able to set strong limits when it comes to respect. Brats can be pushy and disrespectful in play, but the Dominant needs to make sure that the brat knows beforehand how far they can go when they poke their partner.

Playing with a brat

Playing with a brat is just that: play. The brat might poke the Dominant with words or with fingers. They might tease them, sexually or to tickle out the Dominant’s needs. It is all about lighting up the spark of dominance in someone’s eyes, to make them want to push the brat into submission. The brat wants to be punished for their behaviour. The bratty behaviour can involve talking back, ignoring commands, physically and verbally fighting back, running away, refusing to cooperate or disrespectful actions like sticking out their tongue or even showing the middle finger.

The physical fights often make it seem like a scene is non-consensual. But yet again, just like with any other BDSM and D/s play, there is consent, there is a safeword, rules and limits have been discussed. The physical fighting is part of the process of pushing a brat into a submissive space. You could even describe it as primal play, where the play partners slide into a place where they physically and mentally fight for control.

A brat pushes back. While other types of submissives might obey commands, submit and are grateful after punishment, or obediently lie down for a scene, a brat questions and eggs the Dominant on. Phrases like “Why should I do that?” or “Is that all you’ve got?” are pretty commonly used by brats. They want to feel the push back, the stronger punishment, the tighter restraints, the harsher words, the more intense pain.

For a brat it is about going from a place where they are strong and ready to fight, to a place where they are helpless, subdued and needy to submit. A place where there is no way out and they willingly accept the Dominant’s superiority. They want to feel that the Dominant is really dominant and deserves their submission. Because once a brat has reached the submissive space, they are not much different from other submissives. They beg, they want to please, they want to be used and humiliated, they want pain and restraints. it needs a certain kind of Dominant to tame a brat, but the reward is ever so much sweeter when the once strong brat is begging you to use them and willingly submits to you.

About the Author
Although Deviant Succubus has only been blogging since March, she has certainly made her mark in the sex blogging community. She is a regular participant in a variety of the writing memes including Tell Me About … and, amongst other things, is a self-confessed brat. She writes both fiction and non-fiction and covers topics and themes concerned with D/s relationships, BDSM, kink and mental health.  To find out more about her please check out her About Me page or head to her site: Deviant Succubus: Sex. Kink. Submission. Erotica to read more of her writing.

Posted in Living a D/s Lifestyle and tagged , , , .

5 Comments

  1. Great piece.

    Once in a while I’ve done the D/s test at bdsmtest.org and not been terribly surprised at the results. It remained consistent over the years with very minor fluctuations. I last re-took it about two years ago and saw something amazing, my brat score jumped by nearly 50 points ! I took it again to check it wasn’t an anomaly.

    I think you describe it very well. It’s the confidence in my relationship with my domme. I want her to work to pull the best out of me, I want her to take everything, but not without a struggle. It’s not about being rude or disrespectful, it’s about being wrung out, to feel her power as she takes my submission – you might say I need her to earn my submission to know it’s valued.

    Very good post, indeed.

  2. This is a really interesting post. I would never have considered myself to be a brat but I see now that I do have some of these tendencies. I love the way that you have set it out and organised it which makes it really clear. I can totally relate to your idea of being won. I don’t want to be difficult but I also want to feel like I am worth something.

    Thank you again for writing this post for us. 🙂

    • Really interesting post and so much of this describes my actions lol, I guess I am more of a brat than I thought. It’s not that I want to be disrespectful by not following orders straight away, I just need to feel the control more. Atleast it’s a thing, I just thought I was a terrible sub!

  3. Great post, I have never found myself agreeing with so much in relation to our own dynamic. It’s helped me learn a little bit more about what she needs from me too.

  4. Thanks for writing this, it accurately details a lot of my experience and it’s great to see it in words, legitimising the sort of play we enjoy.

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