beginner's guide to roleplay

A Beginner’s Guide to Roleplay

Roleplay within a BDSM context can be exciting for some and daunting for others, so we thought it would be a good idea to put together some ideas which could form a bit of a beginner’s guide to roleplay. Roleplay is when you act out or perform the part of a person or character.  In a sexual sense this is often used to fulfil fantasies or to allow boundaries to be crossed which would not usually be possible. For some it can also be used to spice things up and make them more interesting and exciting by adding elements of the unknown.

Fulfilling Fantasies

Roleplay is useful for fantasies as it can allow you to be someone or something you would not usually be. It can place you in situations which would not be probable or even possible or desirable in a real sense.  Fantasies by nature are mere imaginings so despite the fact that they turn us on, they might not be things which we would actually do. Roleplay allows you to explore some of these things in a safe environment with a person you trust. This could be particularly true for some of the Consensual Non Consent (CNC) type fantasies such as an abduction or rape fantasy. While the thought might arouse you, you would not enjoy being put in this situation in real life, but through roleplay you can agree your boundaries and live out the aspects of it which turn you on.

Crossing Boundaries

Another aspect of roleplay that we have found helpful is the fact that it allows you to cross boundaries. Some things that we find exciting can have issues both morally and/or legally and this is something that roleplay allows you to explore. Playing the roles of teacher and student, for example, is perfectly safe within this context although in real life it would in no way be tolerated. Other roles such as Doctor and patient or owner and pet can be explored in the same sort of way. The fact that the role is adopted only for the length of that scene, and is done so within the full knowledge that it is pretend, allows us, as consenting adults, to cross the boundaries that our kinks and fetishes might not let us do in the real world.

Spicing Things Up

Another way that roleplay can be used is to spice things up and to keep them exciting. While we may be in a relationship where we enjoy monogamy, the thought of having a liaison with an unknown person can be exciting. Adding in a role can create the sense of meeting with a stranger by allowing you to behave and express yourself in ways that you might not usually want to do. The same could be true of playing the roles of stripper or prostitute and client. While we would not ever want to do these things in reality, there is something about the forbidden and taboo which often forms part of our deeper desires, and so to be able to engage in play at such roles, can be really rewarding for both parties.

Roles To Get Started

There are quite a few examples given above but, unless acting comes easily to you, it is always a good idea to commit to a role you can identify with, so depending on the way your power exchange works, it might be helpful to choose roles that will support it. For those starting out, props can also be helpful as can adding some sort of build up to set the scene – a note with instructions, clothing laid out, a room decorated in a particular way. Anything really which helps to support the shift from your usual mindset, to something a little bit different.

Here are some roles that you might want to try to get started:

  • Master and slave, King or Queen and subject
  • Boss and assistant, Teacher and pupil
  • Doctor and patient, Scientist and test subject
  • Lord and courtesan, Client and prostitute, stripper, dancer
  • Pirate and captive, Police Officer and criminal

So finally, all that remains is to wish you luck and to remind you that, as with any play, but especially with roleplay, communication and planning is key.

The final word from The SWC

We hope that you have found this beginner’s guide to Roleplay useful.  Please remember that we do not pertain to be experts in any aspect of BDSM and write only from our own experience of D/s and living in a D/s dynamic. While we do explore some areas of kink and BDSM, the thoughts contained above are based only on what has worked for us.

Other related posts which you may want to check out are:

Roleplay
Let’s Play Pretend
Once Upon a Time

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6 Comments

    • Thank you sweet. I had written about roleplay quite a bit of my own site so it seemed to make sense to do one for here. 😊

  1. I think your advice to play as close to who you are in order to be more authentic as resonated with me, MIssy. That and the fact Frank seems to have taken to the stage just fine has made it all doable for me … nj … xx

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