Who is your little self?

In the book The Big Book For Littles, the author Penny Barber lists a few pages of questions, with the invitation to blog about them. The questions are designed to help you identify and explain your little side, to help you, your Big, and your friends understand you. When i think about being little, it is really hard to give a clear explanation of what it means and feels like. These questions make it much easier to communicate your desires, needs, and personality to your partner, and also to yourself. The list is long, so i plan on answering them bit by bit, and will post my thoughts and discoveries. If you haven’t read this book, i highly recommend it. You can find it on Amazon Kindle for $9.99.

Here is the list:

  • When in little mode, do you behave yourself?
  • Which adjectives describe you? Are you bratty? Helpful? Shy?
  • Does your behavior and demeanor depend heavily on the situation?
  • Are there any labels that might help others to understand you better?
  • Do you like this label?
  • What, if anything, do you wish was different about how people perceived the label?
  • Do you use this label only out of necessity or do you wear it proudly?
  • Do you have a little personality distinct from your everyday self? If so, what are the differences?
  • Do you prefer being your everyday self to being little or vice versa? Do you enjoy both personas more or less equally?
  • Do you like to regress, i.e. feel like you’ve become a younger age, when you’re age playing? If so how do your behaviors and thoughts change?
  • If you do regress, is your little self an expression of an alternate personality, or just you as your younger self?
  • What does your little like to do?
  • What sort of clothing does your little like to wear? Do you like special panties, ruffled socks, onesies, overalls, etc.?
  • Do you consider age play clothes fetish wear or would you wear them in public in your daily life?
  • Would you be able to age play without these clothes?
  • Do you enjoy playing with other littles?
  • Are your relationships with other littles an expression of polyamory or are they strictly platonic?
  • Do you enjoy being cared for by caregivers who may not be bonded to you, like a babysitter, or do you only want a very close caregiver, like a Mommy?
  • List three characteristics of the ideal Big for your little.
  • List three characteristics of your little’s perfect best friend.
  • Do you like to wear diapers when you’re being little? If so, what kind?
  • Are you loyal to a particular brand?
  • Choose three adjectives to describe your perfect diaper.
  • Do you like to use diaper toiletries like baby powder, baby oil, petroleum jelly, diaper rash cream, etc.?
  • Do you become embarrassed when you wear a diaper and, if so, is it enjoyable to be embarrassed?
  • Do you like wetting or messing your diaper? If so, do you like being made to wear a wet or soiled diaper for an extended period of time?
  • What are the steps for your ideal changing ritual?
  • Is a diaper change sexual for you? If so, is it foreplay for the main event? Is a diaper itself a sex toy to you?
  • How do you feel about simulated messy diapers with things like shaving cream or bananas?
  • Do you enjoy forced diaper use, like enemas or diuretics?
  • How do you feel about including sexual paraphernalia like butt plugs in a diaper change?
  • What are your little self’s favorite things to do during playtime?
  • Do you have any special toys? Would you be upset if someone else touched or used this toy?
  • Are you good at sharing?
  • Would you engage in an activity that you didn’t like or found boring in order to accommodate a playmate?
  • Describe a perfect afternoon with your ideal little best friend.
  • Do you have imaginary friends? Are you friends with your stuffed animals and toys?
  • Does your little self enjoy or tolerate being punished?
  • Would you prefer punishments to be humiliating, painful, or time consuming?
  • Which punishments would you absolutely not submit to?
  • How does being punished make you feel?
  • Should punishment be an experience on its own or only in response to misbehavior on your part?
  • Would you become upset or defiant if you felt that you were being punished unjustly?
  • List five punishments that you would enjoy submitting to.
  • Should punishments be appropriate to your little age? What are your criteria for determining the appropriate punishment?
  • Do you enjoy having special rules for when you are in little space?
  • Are these rules meant to control your behavior or help you get into little space?
  • Would these rules be realistic rules that a chronological child should abide by, like washing your hands before you eat, or fetishistic like having to wet at least 2 diapers per day?
  • Would these rules be set by your Big alone or would you have input? Are there certain rules that you would not consent to?
  • Based on your little age, how much control would a Big have over you in regards to leisure time, goals, speech, dress, hygiene, etc.?
  • Does your little self have chores? Homework? If so, do you have a good attitude about it?
  • Do you enjoy using ageplay to motivate you to do work, like having a sticker or earning a reward?
  • Would this scenario work only in a fantasy setting or would you like to be motivated to complete mundane chores like paying bills and cleaning the kitchen?
  • How frequently do you like to age play?
  • Do you always like to go all the way, or is it sometimes preferable to experience a lighter, less immersive age play, like only sucking on a pacifier or just wearing age play clothes?
  • Are there certain things going on in your life that might make you want to age play more or less often or is your desire pretty constant?
  • Are there certain places that make you feel more little?
  • Are there places that you feel are sacrosanct only to age play or only to being Big? If so, why?
  • Are there any changes that can be made to a space to make it feel more like a safe or fun place for you to be little, like making sure the space is soundproof or putting out little decor?
  • Are you comfortable age playing in vanilla, non-adult settings, like the zoo?
  • Do you like to age play in semi-public settings, like at a BDSM play party?
  • If you do play in public, what’s your plan for dealing with onlookers who may become curious, uncomfortable, or offended?
  • Is there something that can happen that makes you feel little?
  • Do you enjoy it when something unexpected makes you feel little? Can it be deliberately initiated?
  • Is it embarrassing to be made to feel little in public, even if you aren’t acting little?
  • Is your little side always or sometimes dominant?
  • Do you feel dominant toward everyone or only to a specific person or type of person?
  • Is your little mean, like a bully or tattletale?
  • Is your little a leader?
  • Do you enjoy physical discomfort when in little space, like spankings, hair pulling, rough penetration, etc.?
  • Do you enjoy emotional discomfort like being teased, being scolded, being put on time out, losing your favorite toy, etc.? If so, is this discomfort just part of your interactions as a little, or is it a punishment?
  • Should punishments be non-sexual, sexual, or a mix of the two?
  • Do you enjoy more domestic punishments like being spanked with a belt or hair brush?
  • Do you enjoy more institutional punishments like being spanked with a paddle or being made to hold dictionaries on outstretched arms?
  • Does your little self experience full blown feelings of adult love or crushes?
  • How would your little self express romantic affection?
  • In which ways would you not like to experience or express romantic affections as a little? Would these expressions make you uncomfortable or do they just not resonate with you?
  • Is your little self more or less open to multiple romantic relationships than your big self? Equally open?
  • Is it appropriate for a little your age to have a romantic partner and go on dates? Would you do it even if it was, or because it was inappropriate?
  • Would your partner take the lead in the relationship or would you?
  • Would you only date your Big?
  • Would your relationship to your Big be more of a parent child relationship where your Big would determine whether or not you could date other individuals?
  • Does your little self like to hurt others?
  • Do you enjoy inflicting physical pain, like giving someone a wedgie or an Indian burn?
  • Do you enjoy inflicting emotional pain, like calling someone names or insisting a Big read you a sexual story when they don’t want to?
  • Do you like to have sexual contact when in little space? If so, what kind? Do you like to masturbate in little mode?
  • Does play still feel sexual even if you’re not engaging in sexual activity?
  • Do you like the vibe to feel intense, playful, coerced, or some other way?
  • Do you prefer to be the one to initiate sexual contact? How might your partner ask if you would like to be sexual and obtain consent?
  • What, if anything, makes a sexual experience as a little different than a sexual experience as a big?
  • Does entering little headspace allow you to de-stress or experience emotions that you might usually have trouble accessing?
  • Are there things that can stress you out when you are little?
  • How does your little respond to stress?
  • As a little, do you feel submissive to certain people, for example, caregivers?
  • Do you only feel submissive to one person? Are you submissive in general?
  • Is being made to be little the same as being made to submit?
  • Which age ranges do you like to role play?
  • Are these age ranges expressions of the same persona, or is, say your teenager persona completely different from your toddler persona?
  • List ten adjectives that you feel strongly represent this age.
  • Is there a fictional character who you feel represents this age really well?
  • When you were this age, what was your life like?
  • What were you like?
  • How do you wish these things were different? What did you enjoy?  

Have you discovered a little side of yourself? Tell me more in the comments below!

 

 

This post was originally featured on www.marriedandowned.com

2 thoughts on “Finding and defining your little

  1. Sweetgirl says:

    Wow lots of questions!!! While I have a naughty side, I think I have more of a middle personality as Missy describes hers than a little.

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