So here we are.  Been a while hasn’t it, but I did warn you.

So settle in.  A little over a year has passed since sweetgirl asked me to consider being her dominant.  If you’re  new here are wondering what you have missed click this link to my first post.  and sweetgirls journal here much more content from SwG.  So I thought we would check in.

So what is there to discuss? Well that is simple, whatever we want.   Feel free to ask questions and I will try to answer them.
However, let me tell you about my year.  I have found a number of things to be true over the last year or so.   Firstly if your communication slips everything slips.   It is hard as we try to be D/s all the time (notice i didn’t say 24/7, that’s  because I hate that phrase) but life gets in the way.  Over the last year Sweetgirl has changed jobs twice and this puts obstacles in the way such as her bringing work home.  I know what you’re  thinking “You’re the Dom tell her she can’t” well that may seem to be an easy solution but has consequences as her mental state will change with worry.  You see she is the type of lady that gives her all to everything she does.  (Remember I said we would have had a fully fitted playroom and rack full of toys in the first week if she wasn’t controlled).  So when starting a new job I find it best to give some slack so she can focus on what she has to do outside of the home and the dynamic.
We, like most people have rituals and this helps but there is a diffrent connection made when playing compared to when we do her day/night collars.  Sweetgirl goes deeper into subspace when we play,  even the limited play we can do at home can send her down.  But playing at home comes with it’s own challenges as I am sure it does for anyone with kids and pets.  Our two children are all grown up and we had a routine with the youngest as he is a bit of a gamer so spends most of his time in his room with headphones on wageing war on some distant land.  So the sound of the flogger doesn’t register.  However our eldest has come home before hopefully moving to London in a month or two but this has changed the dynamic of the house as he spends more time watching tv or reading in his room, so noise registers and he has been known in the past to let us know when we are disturbing him.
Another thing I have noticed over the last year is the amount of planning and structure I like, not only my everyday life but in play and scenes.  Before one particular incident I would have said I do little planning or prep for play/scenes.  But this false hood was highlighted to me recently.
When sweetgirl and I started on this journey we agreed that play at home would be problematic due to kids and pets.  Yes there are ways round everything given time and money, but with that comes a sudden change of day to day routine.  For instance if we were to suddenly start fully closing doors to keep pets out the room then it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out what we are doing.  So we agreed that we would invest in ourselves and book a hotel night or two away every month.  Now this went well and we have a favourite hotel which we go to every couple of months and we use a chain hotel to keep the cost down for other monthly getaways.  Normally we have them written down so we know when we are going etc.   I tend to send email instructions to sweetgirl telling her what to pack and giving a brief outline of what will happen during our time away.
Well this one particular week we appear not to have wrote it down thankfully a email reminder from the site that we use to book was received but instead of having our usual week to prepare we only had a few days.   Unfortunately we couldn’t cancel without still having to pay and on top of this it was new hotel.  So we packed on the day and decided to go to a pub/restaurant that we pass on the way to our local munch for something to eat before heading to the hotel.  It was disappointing to say the least but once at the hotel things just felt odd for us both and the evening didn’t flow.  We are due back at that hotel soon to see if we can break that feeling.
Now when we started out full time D/s we decided that we would have a collar for play and one for everyday.   But the one for everyday needed to be something that Sweetgirl could wear everyday and not raise suspicion.  After all it only needed to mean something to us.   So in 23 years of being together I think I picked my first peice of jewellery that Sweetgirl would wear.  It was a long silver chain with a eye and a silver bar that passes through it.  I also made her a night/play collar from paracord that we swap in a ritual before bed.  Recently however we have changed the day collar that we bought for a collar I hand made out of silver.  I like to be busy even when sat down so I started looking at chainmaille as it is something I can do sat on the sofa.  I made her a byzantine collar and I believe she likes it as it is tighter around her neck and reminds her of her submission.   I am hoping to get into leather work but feel I need a dedicated space for this so need the kids to leave but that is another story.
So social media is and has been about for sometime and for a variety of reason I decided I would join twitter and instagram this was for a number of reason but mainly because I do not know everything and although my imagination is good it has it’s limit.  It is going well, although I am amazed at how many men seem to think it is acceptable to send unsolicited pictures of their penis to women they have never met or even introduced themselves too.   I am learning lots and filing stuff away for the future.
We were lucky enough to be invited to our first event by a friend that has amazing knowledge and has been on the scene for some time.   This was a big step for me personally and for Sweetgirl.   Sweetgirl’s out fit was risqué but not the risquést one at the event by any stretch I know she was out of her comfort zone with it as it was quite revealing, again not the most revealing.   We got there quite early and introduced ourselves to the organiser.  We also got to meet our friend’s slave for the first time.  Seeing some of the protocols in place was interesting.  For me personally I am not nor have I ever been a fan of large crowds.  I remember when I first met Sweetgirl she asked if I would attend a meatloaf concert with her, but due to my dislike of large crowds a concert is just a no go for me.   I cant explain it really I am just not comfortable, not anxious or anything it is just a feeling.  Think i have been to 3 rugby games in my life despite being a fan of my hometown rugby club all my life.
I do find rope work and flogging very enjoyable and do plan on attending the local rope workshop soon (if it doesn’t co-inside with my week on call).   We recently had the opportunity to attend a Flogging workshop held by Aemellia Hawk and was excited and booked early.   This workshop was a talk and demonstration by Aemeilla and the opportunity to practice in the club and receive coaching from this wonderfully funny and talented practitioner.   However as some of you may know Sweetgirl has had issues with her back for more than a decade.  Earlier in the year she had a procedure done that made her pain free for 2 days as a test.   When we booked it we knew there was a chance that the proper procedure would be done around the time of the workshop.   Yip you guest it the procedure was scheduled for the Friday as the workshop was on the Sunday.   A long story short we attended but due to Sweetgirl being 48 post surgical procedure we didn’t play despite Sweetgirl’s remonstrations (remember my love part of my role is to protect you even from yourself)  but learned lots and have ordered some new floggers from amealia
What does the future hold?  Well that is difficult to answer as it depends on what the future gives me to work with.  There are lots I would like to do and try that will not only push Sweetgirl but push me too.   As I have said I want to attend the rope workshops and there is always the option to play at the munches we attend.  I would like to make more friends in the kink community as there is so much to learn.

3 thoughts on “An interview with me myself and I – One year on.

  1. Insightful and inspiring read. A lot of ideas for growth and future exploration. Not sure how many of us struggle to find the “local scene” but we really haven’t yet. It would be nice to have a place to fit in and feel safe (besides all of you, of course!!)

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